Temptations & Ambitions

It's kinda crappy waiting in the library in UKMMC. Results were supposed to be out by today, afternoon, most would presume. But it was promised to be 5pm. So why am I waiting here since 2pm? Oh well, I guess I'll just kill time with some spontaneous rant.

So, with this, I assume that you guys/gals would know that my exam's over, and this would practically leave me with 2 months break. Well that is, provided I passed my papers. Pessimistic it may sound, but perhaps it made me more humane in a way. Med school has somehow taught me that I am afterall, a normal being. Even the doctors and professors are so. We are all bounded by our own emotions as well, but it is the way we handle it that matters the most. I'm not saying that everyone here are the worst or the best kind. I'm not cynistic enough not to recognize the virtue of some doctors, and I'm not submissive enough to idolize every single doctor like some would. All I can say that they are the role models, and the "end-product" of what they had uphold through out their journey in life.

And I'm not ambitious enough to change each and every one of them. I myself had my flaws as well, but I would take that it would be prudent not to learnt from their strength or their mistakes. Career is important, but sometimes, to me, my own life would be as squally important as well. Too often that we had chased upon our own tails, dwelling in the rat race for advancement in career and wealth, just to neglect the very reason we did that in the first place, for the quality of life, family life, friendship and our very own dreams, those that we had set to accomplish when we were young, whether to fly around the world, to dive in the deepest seas or the dream to help others. How many times had we seen people who were too engrossed in the wealth chase with no other accomplishment other than the sense of satisfaction of being on the top? As the saying goes, you can't bring money with you when you die. And how many times exactly had we seen people who turn down requests for help, when their goals were to help others?

And then again, there are those who overdid it. Those who dream and make dreams their master. Those who lived like there is no tomorrow. Those who spend to realize their dreams, at the expense of others because they can't afford it. To enjoy the life without accomplishing the goals in life. Was there any rationale in such people in the first place? Would you be happy to spend all your wage by the middle of the month so that you could live off bread crumbs or instant noodles for the rest of the month, all because of that single temptation that you had gave in?

So, my mind flew with thoughts and ideas, but there seem to be no coherency in them. I would leave you readers to ponder, and to decide, what is best for you. After all, it's you who decide how you live, not others.

Now, this is a very first of all disclaimer. I am not going to goad anyone below 18 to go for a date. Sometimes, underaged can be a rather subjective matter. Elementary school kids can go kissing or making love for all that I know, and shotgun marriages which most of the time, ended up nevertheless the same. That is, divorce, for 9 out of 10 times. Despite that, those couples would always think that they are the tenth case, dying to exchange vows, just to find out that it was, afterall, a vow to make the other dying.

On the other hand, there are also the mommy's boys or daddy's girls, deeming themselves underaged despite being 40 years old. To parents, of course, you would always be under their age. It's time to step out of the closet and face the world, be it for good times, or bad times. So, be wise and choose your own appropriate age.




2. Because You're Afraid of Commitment
Weekend retreats, shared water closet or the torture (engagement ring) having you scampering into the wild? The shackles of commitment tying you to another human being for life seems more awful than a death sentence to you? Yeah, freedom fighters as you are, stretching your fun days into your middle age could be risky, and at the worst, could be tragic as it seem to sound. Knowing the unknown may be a terror far worse than terrorism, but conquering that innate feeling of yours would really require a change in mindset or attitude. Otherwise, you might need a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or if possible, a brain transplant since your old ones seems to rot far beyond your physical age.


3. Because You're In Love with Yourself
Yeah, yeah, you're beautiful, it's true. (Quote from James Blunt) Everyone feels the same. Given the chance, you'll live in a house of mirrors. Naked. You wouldn't even leave a puddle of water alone. It bears reflection right? Perhaps it's time to divert that love to someone else instead. Hit the gym, or anywhere with mirrors. Who knows, you might "bumped" into someone's eyes in the mirror, albeit checking your buns of steel (or your shameful beer belly).




4. Because You're Gay

Alright, this might not be single, but most of the time, it went undeclared. Malaysia is a conservative country. And the last thing you want to feel is the blade of your dad's butcher knife. What about job promotion if your boss finds out? Most of the time, you'll tell anyone and everyone that you're single. Partly true, but it could be due to your philanderer's side of your's trying to hit out at others of the same sex.


5. Because You're Desperate

You're 40, and going nowhere in relationship. Your grandma and other relatives are nagging at every family reunion since you were 24. As time passes by, you felt the urge to grab one as time is ticking. But the more you try, the further you are from your destination. Your trying too hard left you with not even one girl friend or guy friend (depending on your sex orientation), because you scared them all away. Let's face it. No one likes desperado's. There's this rushing of time that turns people off, more after when they realised that it was all for the sake of salvation.


The trick is, accept the fact that you're desperate. But there is no need to show it to every single lady/guy you've met. Play it cool, and you can even joke about it. Light humor (or cold dry humor) would fancy at least someone, rather than no one. You might wanna try everything and anything, but be sensible. Speed dating would be fine, and any other events which introduce you to people out of your social circle. Then, at least they had not a single idea of your desperation. That is, unless you've shown it yourself and you'll have to move on to another social circle until you've perfected the nonchalant look.

6. Because You're Not Over Your Last Relationship
You just got dumped. Pathetic, and so it was. Welcome to the landfill of the dumped. The experience might pushed you over the edge, tempting you to do a harakiri and say goodbye to the world. But you just can't do it. So you'd vowed that you'll never fall in love again. Ever. It's okay to be sober once in a while, and reflect on the past. However, don't dwell too long in it. Just remember to shave and bath before you're ready for the next great adventure. It stinks from your tears, and also the fact that the last time you bath was on the day you broke up with your ex.

7. Because You're Way Too Ugly (Than an Ogre)

Yeah, everyone feels that way at times. Even the hottest chick/ hunk in town knows that there is this flaw in them, no matter how small it can be. It's just how we deal with them (or tackle the hottest chick/ hunk). Charisma, confidence and cheerfulness are the traits that can be trained. And it makes the world a better place to live than a large chunk of cumulonimbus hovering over your head. Of course, if you wouldn't believe me, you can always opt for a plastic surgeon.


8. Because You're Looking for Someone with the 5C's.

Yeah, and the checklist of..erm.. 100 pages long? To tick all the boxes before you even consider that someone. And often you've seen people with the other 5 C's: cheapskate, coward, creepy, clumsy and crappy?

Come on, take a good look at the mirror, or the puddle of water if you can't afford a mirror. What position do you have to demand that much? All that boxes and their qualifications for what in return (of this 'investment')? Sex? In the end, you might realized that all you really need is the two C's: Chemistry and compatibility.

9. Because You're Allergic (To Everything?)
Socializing may not be good for the heart, or so the decree stated. You might end up in cardiac arrest. Chest pain, palpitations, sweaty palms, difficulty breathing, and the feeling that you're going to ascend to heaven anytime soon. We feel your pain. It's called panic attack. We'll just need to arrange for an appointment with a psychologist/ psychiatrist (not because you're crazy, but because you need help) to overcome your fears. And the chest pain that we truly feel for you. Or maybe not, if the pain involves swelling, potential paralysis, rashes (or hives)and hyperventilation. That could be a true allergy (How unfortunate).


10. Because You're Obsessed With Your Pets
Jingles, Kiki, Mimi, Nancy or Dolly? Name the array of pets you're staying with on your bed (Oh you trisexual being). Talking all day about your pets ruining your place may seem endearing to you but not so for others. What's more, it could sound as disgusting as it gets. Who knows, your potential candidate could even be allergic to those fur (unless your pets are cold reptiles, which is, another story after all). My advice? If you can't cook them or dump them, you can either: (a) find a party animal and make him/her your collection of zoo pets; or (b) date a zookeeper or vet. Chances are, (b) would be more beneficial if it's a vet. At least you save the trip (and cash) down the vet clinic every time!

So, are you in any of it? :P

Yesh, yesterday, finally was the day I became free labor (not exactly free since there's food, drinks and souvenirs). Y Sun's shifting! :P

So Yee Choon, Stella and I volunteered to help out, although his dad had actually recruited some friends and good neighbors to help too. (Making us more of an ornament instead)


But that's not the story I would like to tell in this post, whether if it's some pre-independence cold joke or some minor accidents here and there while shifting some freaking furniture, but, of course, it's about Y Sun's new room! Since photos were prohibited until the housewarming party, I took quite some lossy shots before he knew it. :P

He had the freaking MASTER ROOM while his parents lived in the dungeon cellar! Yeah, a master room, walk-in wardrobe and a perverted and horny bathroom. Seriously.

 

Yee Choon: WTF!! I'm shitting, ya know!!
Yee Ming: Oops! Sorry, effing..not meant to see any bomb drops so obviously. Luckily the toilet bowl was not transparent. :P

This must have been a good chance for Y Sun to sinisterly accidentally peep on the girls he brought back home. :P

And next we had the family hall upstairs:




 And the booze awaiting those who come for the CNY housewarming invitation:



Overall, it's quite a decent house, rather spacious amidst the many corners where Y Sun was trying to spread the beans, rice and tea leaves for buang "suey" (casting off the jinx).

If you would like to chance for a visit there, CNY is your chance, and this actuarist is still single and available. Call 012- 672**** for a date. :P

Perhaps the issue of the usage of the term "Allah" which had been hovering the silent air in Peninsular Malaysia had resurfaced with a big bang. I mean, literally. 2 nights ago, there were arson attacks on a few churches in Klang Valley, and one of them was Metro Tabernacle. It was located around 500-1000 meters away from my house. It was the church where most of my secondary school friends and teachers who are Christians go to. My condolences to them, and this is really an unfortunate event.

Before this racial tension escalate any further, please do not dwell too deeply into emotional sentiments.The culprits must be caught, but as we can see, there are abuse of words on Islam itself for having such ala terrorist believers. Do note that every religion have its groups of zealots and moderate believers, and this may be the work of one of them ,or perhaps not, as the modern days of politics may even employ such tactics. Fortunately, the Metro Tabernacle church had found a new place to shift to quite some time ago, the last time I heard. All that was waiting was the pending CF, so hopefully, the CF could be hastened for them to move in. Let's just be glad that no one was hurt, and the worldly things can always be replaced.


From the papers, it showed as if the whole building was burnt or brought down to its skeletal remains. Unfortunately (Or rather fortunately), Malaysians don't make good terrorists. Perhaps they hadn't had time to browse through the "Molotov cocktails for dummies" book. While the front part of the ground floor was affected, the 2nd and 3rd floor weren't. Even the other two attempts on other churches did not materialised as the Molotov cocktails did not lit up. Shows great attempt in substandard quality nay?

2010 came in a BANG!! With such a blastoff into the new year, one barely remembers what happened last year. A new year, a new beginning. Was there something to worry about last year? Scrape that away from your 2010 checklist and it's going to be a "reset" of resolution. So there goes the resolution to lose weight (AGAIN) for the godzilliath time. You may be heavier than last year but you still remain optimistic. That's what new year resolution are for. They are there to be broken, so that you can lament it at the end of the year, and besides,  you wouldn't need to think of a new resolution! Convenient, isn't it?


With the arrival of 2010, the year where the in-trend of calling twenty-ten is here! There's no more two-thousand-and... or two-O-O-.... Just plain twenty-ten!And here I am officiating it with the first post of the year! I mean, 3 days later. :P


So, what's in store for year 2010? It's the year of the Tiger! Not exactly, but it's somewhere there, as Chinese New Year starts in early February. Fyi, that would be after my end sem exams, signifying the end of my 4th year in Mad Med School(provided I passed). It feels kinda funny to be a final year student, the "pinnacle" of the course, and yet, it felt so long a journey when your friends are all earning their cash while I, or most of us in Med school, are still parasites, whether from parents, or government loans and scholarships. But that'll be another story altogether.


The year of the Tiger means I'm 24, and it's my reigning year! It has always been a dream of mine to have a Tiger baby, a child with the same animal zodiac as mine. But oh well, if and only if I could get one. med school is kind of cruel, as they wouldn't allow students to be pregnant while pursuing their undergraduate. Or we'll have to take a break for a year or two. I doubt that'll be applicable in UKM. Anyway, if they allow that, I'll be the first to volunteer to be pregnant! :P





Closer to the year 2010, should I proceed to final year, I can see what's in store for me. A real hectic life it may seem. Or is it just a nihilism from the Year 5's? Anyway, I'll have to cross fingers, and my staple food would be akin those in the refugee camps.





Anyhow, I'll make do with what I have. Optimism is what keeps everyone going. So, here's my resolution for the year to end this post.

1. Maintain my weight as it is, I'm realistic of course, and perhaps lose a couple of kg if manageable (I doubt so)
2. Sail through the course with no major obstacles, and more hardworking (I'm starting to slack though)
   
3. Watch more movies as means of entertainment, and wish upon the star that TGV would be in Wangsa Walk Mall very very soon!
4. Blogging quota of at least 50 posts this year, with target of 100 in the year, same as last year.
5. Be more assertive in my approach to people, and to control my temper.
6. To cure my occasional depressive symptoms over the long run
7. To maintain a balance between Facebook and life. Can't seem to sound enough horns it would seem. :P
8. To spend more time with my dear, after so much neglect due to FB games addiction.
9. To sleep at a more regular hours, and proper rest to lengthen my lifespan.
10. To live past 2010, which means safety lifestyle. Some may say it's boring, but I rather had a long, peaceful and enjoyable life rather than daredevil adventures which would shorten your lifespan. :P
11. To think of a better resolution next year. I suck at it, because I don't think I really had any determined resolution. It's mostly things achievable by normal means. Wait till my resolution keeps me walking on water, nay?