Temptations & Ambitions

Now, this is a very first of all disclaimer. I am not going to goad anyone below 18 to go for a date. Sometimes, underaged can be a rather subjective matter. Elementary school kids can go kissing or making love for all that I know, and shotgun marriages which most of the time, ended up nevertheless the same. That is, divorce, for 9 out of 10 times. Despite that, those couples would always think that they are the tenth case, dying to exchange vows, just to find out that it was, afterall, a vow to make the other dying.

On the other hand, there are also the mommy's boys or daddy's girls, deeming themselves underaged despite being 40 years old. To parents, of course, you would always be under their age. It's time to step out of the closet and face the world, be it for good times, or bad times. So, be wise and choose your own appropriate age.




2. Because You're Afraid of Commitment
Weekend retreats, shared water closet or the torture (engagement ring) having you scampering into the wild? The shackles of commitment tying you to another human being for life seems more awful than a death sentence to you? Yeah, freedom fighters as you are, stretching your fun days into your middle age could be risky, and at the worst, could be tragic as it seem to sound. Knowing the unknown may be a terror far worse than terrorism, but conquering that innate feeling of yours would really require a change in mindset or attitude. Otherwise, you might need a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or if possible, a brain transplant since your old ones seems to rot far beyond your physical age.


3. Because You're In Love with Yourself
Yeah, yeah, you're beautiful, it's true. (Quote from James Blunt) Everyone feels the same. Given the chance, you'll live in a house of mirrors. Naked. You wouldn't even leave a puddle of water alone. It bears reflection right? Perhaps it's time to divert that love to someone else instead. Hit the gym, or anywhere with mirrors. Who knows, you might "bumped" into someone's eyes in the mirror, albeit checking your buns of steel (or your shameful beer belly).




4. Because You're Gay

Alright, this might not be single, but most of the time, it went undeclared. Malaysia is a conservative country. And the last thing you want to feel is the blade of your dad's butcher knife. What about job promotion if your boss finds out? Most of the time, you'll tell anyone and everyone that you're single. Partly true, but it could be due to your philanderer's side of your's trying to hit out at others of the same sex.


5. Because You're Desperate

You're 40, and going nowhere in relationship. Your grandma and other relatives are nagging at every family reunion since you were 24. As time passes by, you felt the urge to grab one as time is ticking. But the more you try, the further you are from your destination. Your trying too hard left you with not even one girl friend or guy friend (depending on your sex orientation), because you scared them all away. Let's face it. No one likes desperado's. There's this rushing of time that turns people off, more after when they realised that it was all for the sake of salvation.


The trick is, accept the fact that you're desperate. But there is no need to show it to every single lady/guy you've met. Play it cool, and you can even joke about it. Light humor (or cold dry humor) would fancy at least someone, rather than no one. You might wanna try everything and anything, but be sensible. Speed dating would be fine, and any other events which introduce you to people out of your social circle. Then, at least they had not a single idea of your desperation. That is, unless you've shown it yourself and you'll have to move on to another social circle until you've perfected the nonchalant look.

6. Because You're Not Over Your Last Relationship
You just got dumped. Pathetic, and so it was. Welcome to the landfill of the dumped. The experience might pushed you over the edge, tempting you to do a harakiri and say goodbye to the world. But you just can't do it. So you'd vowed that you'll never fall in love again. Ever. It's okay to be sober once in a while, and reflect on the past. However, don't dwell too long in it. Just remember to shave and bath before you're ready for the next great adventure. It stinks from your tears, and also the fact that the last time you bath was on the day you broke up with your ex.

7. Because You're Way Too Ugly (Than an Ogre)

Yeah, everyone feels that way at times. Even the hottest chick/ hunk in town knows that there is this flaw in them, no matter how small it can be. It's just how we deal with them (or tackle the hottest chick/ hunk). Charisma, confidence and cheerfulness are the traits that can be trained. And it makes the world a better place to live than a large chunk of cumulonimbus hovering over your head. Of course, if you wouldn't believe me, you can always opt for a plastic surgeon.


8. Because You're Looking for Someone with the 5C's.

Yeah, and the checklist of..erm.. 100 pages long? To tick all the boxes before you even consider that someone. And often you've seen people with the other 5 C's: cheapskate, coward, creepy, clumsy and crappy?

Come on, take a good look at the mirror, or the puddle of water if you can't afford a mirror. What position do you have to demand that much? All that boxes and their qualifications for what in return (of this 'investment')? Sex? In the end, you might realized that all you really need is the two C's: Chemistry and compatibility.

9. Because You're Allergic (To Everything?)
Socializing may not be good for the heart, or so the decree stated. You might end up in cardiac arrest. Chest pain, palpitations, sweaty palms, difficulty breathing, and the feeling that you're going to ascend to heaven anytime soon. We feel your pain. It's called panic attack. We'll just need to arrange for an appointment with a psychologist/ psychiatrist (not because you're crazy, but because you need help) to overcome your fears. And the chest pain that we truly feel for you. Or maybe not, if the pain involves swelling, potential paralysis, rashes (or hives)and hyperventilation. That could be a true allergy (How unfortunate).


10. Because You're Obsessed With Your Pets
Jingles, Kiki, Mimi, Nancy or Dolly? Name the array of pets you're staying with on your bed (Oh you trisexual being). Talking all day about your pets ruining your place may seem endearing to you but not so for others. What's more, it could sound as disgusting as it gets. Who knows, your potential candidate could even be allergic to those fur (unless your pets are cold reptiles, which is, another story after all). My advice? If you can't cook them or dump them, you can either: (a) find a party animal and make him/her your collection of zoo pets; or (b) date a zookeeper or vet. Chances are, (b) would be more beneficial if it's a vet. At least you save the trip (and cash) down the vet clinic every time!

So, are you in any of it? :P

For decades, men had been associated with ego. We called men who can't get hold of their own heads, egoists. And this cycle occurs over and over again as we named others egoists while failing to see what may have been snug deep down ourselves without realizing it. And so, I was been told to be an egoist recently, along with traits which I found to have no similarities with what I called as egoist. In fact, I do see him as an egoist too, but in different aspects. And that made me pondered for a moment, and I'd asked myself, "How do we define ego?"

A brief wiki-ing revealed the idea of ego:

The Ego comprises that organized part of the personality structure which includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. The ego separates what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us. - Snowden 2006, p. 105.

And yet, according to Freud, an Austrian Psychiatrist:
Ego mediates among the id, the super-ego and the external world. Its task is to find a balance between primitive drives and reality (the Ego devoid of morality at this level) while satisfying the id and super-ego. Its main concern is with the individual safety and allows some of the id's desires to be expressed, but only when consequences of these actions are marginal.

In short, ego can somehow be described as a balance of IQ and EQ put together. And if the physiological balance is disrupted, you'll have the pathological(diseased) state of ego, which we normally regard as the misconceived idea of "ego".

And that is to clear the misconceived idea of ego, as we now proceed to the foot (not food) for thoughts writings.

Generally, anything a male does according to his own beliefs would be labeled as ego regardless of whether he is right or wrong. Many a time of course, males refuse to give in, which gave rise to the idea of ego in the first place. But with the modernizing and the females' manipulative usage of the word "ego" to get things done their way, many males flinched at the impending sight of the possible branding of "ego". These new breed of males shirk the duty of rationalization and follow through with whatsoever the females demands and thus lead to the mentality that failure to comply with even a single woman's term is regarded as being an egoist.

Well, this would be good news for females, for you have a new breed of free drivers, free companions-when-you-are-bored, and perhaps at times, a free magical card which does not requires repayment(and definitely no worries) while you shop.

But dear female readers, do ponder a little. Is the guy you love the most gives you everything in the world and never said no? Well, fairy tales and your TV does not count, of course, but I guess you'll get my point. Sometimes your significant other have to say no too. Life is a reality where only you seek for the perfection while it avoids you for eternal. (probably due to the fact that the perfection is seeking for perfection as well, which is definitely not you)

Regardless, I am not blaming it on the females, but there are a few who sees and managed to cash in on this opportunity.

Back to the male readers, I am not asking you to object every little thing that the females brings up. Keeping a balance is a tough art in a relationship, which makes flirting a trivial matter in comparison. Sometimes we do give and take, and rationalization has always been emphasized on countless times. The best is to think before you act. That would be the wisest thing to do. But all in all, you are not to be blamed if you failed in doing so, for I understand that we are hot-headed during the prime of our raging hormones, so keep practicing in maintaining the balance and remember to talk it out and communicate if you have conflicts with another individual.

So that ends our brief note here, putting an end to the thoughts which had been pouring more than the brain could get hold of.

Thoughts stimulant:
As the generalization goes, female always think that they are right. Is this a form of female ego?

Many times we seek for the "perfect" match in our lives. Many times we've been swayed from the flaws we seen in our loved ones. We tend to forget why had we fell in love in the first place, and we pursue to change your loved ones to someone whom you did not love in the first place. And all in all, we lost in our self-conflict, and our relationship ended up worse off.

And there are times when seduction was too great and there are too much Nip Tuck or Desperate Housewives series running at the back of your mind wanting some real action.

And the spectacles of midlife crisis fueled on the crisis and made our loved ones looked like monsters in our very own eyes.

We are way too young to feel this, but be assure that most of us might be going through this one day, whether if it is today, tomorrow, one year down the road, 10 years or 30 years. Perhaps the video below would help you ponder in your path of soul-searching.
This is titled Funeral, a commercial video produced from Singapore's Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports. For once, I thought I had to salute them for such a heart touching film when the Singaporeans are crappy when it comes to love(As evidenced by their low marriage rate and the film "Love Matters", which garnered the lowest rating from all Jack Neo films). I thought I would just credit the Singaporeans for such a great commercial. For once, they had some true talent which is on par with Yasmin Ahmad.

And then again, a thought came to mind and I'd searched intensely as my fingers dance across the keyboards furiously to confirm my suspicion.

Damn.. got tricked.

It is yet ANOTHER great product from Yasmin Ahmad.

Another credit to a true Malaysian, although unrecognized by the Malaysian government just because of some gender issues.

*Sigh*

Now that is what I call a lack of recognition of talent, not those chinese scholars who went to Singapore to further their studies and call themselves the geniuses who got brain-drained.

That was what everyone told me when they got involved in it, whether by choice or not.

Then came the breakup part, whether if it's 1 week, 1 month, or a year later. Everything just did not seem to connect anymore. Tears flowed, then there were those ala flash floods, and possibly the most disastrous outcome: the tsunami of a post-relationship. Just the thoughts of LDR send a shiver down the spine for most people. Deep down their hearts, they knew that it's going to be a hard time for LDR.

But don't get me wrong. I'm not discouraging anyone from LDR. Don't break up just because you have read this somewhat "enlightening" post, for seeing is believing. I might be wrong, but statistically, 9 out of 10 LDR failed. Don't approach me and say that your LDR works when you have not reached the end of the LDR challenges. Even getting married does not solve everything, as married men are equally as gullible (if not worse) to cheat on their significant other.

But let us dwell on the meaning of LDR before we jump into any conclusion, at least, from my point of understanding. It is not just bounded by distance, but includes time and experience as well. Picture this, a couple working in different shifts of a day are bound to have the same problem in an LDR, although physical contact and intimacy could still be uphold in such a challenge. Even couples from different fields of work pose a challenge, particularly when the career demands more attention than their significant others. Therefore, here is a list of pitfalls in an LDR in the sense of a far distance apart:

1. Distance
   
   
   
   

   The classical example of LDR is portrayed by the lack of physical contact, sexual intimacy and the memories of the significant others. As the old saying goes, "Out of sight, out of mind." Yes, sometimes "absence makes the heart grows fonder", but in the long run, it would still ended being compliant to the former statement when there is no contact between a couple. Communication is the essence of a relationship after all. With the advancement of technology, no doubt you can communicate with your significant other, but the lack of physical contact makes it rather superficial and virtual.
   
   Try to meet up if possible, but not too often as there are other things to do than just meet up and doing nothing.
   
   
2. Duration
   
   
   
   
   
   Be realistic. A one-month absence is definitely be easier to go through than a 10-years absence. Time is the cruelest tool of torment in an LDR. As time goes by, LDR can be a prison for both of you as you are tied down by staying in for your intimate phone calls or chats while the beautiful world outside is waiting for you to explore. And time seem to come to a halt while you were missing your significant other, making you dread the days that soon to come by.
   
   Just make sure you have a mental preparation of what to expect from an LDR. Make yourself busy if you have to, and run the world like your threadmill as you pause by to share your experience with your beloved ones. This is much more beneficial than staying in every night without anything to say.
   
   
   
   
3. Ground rules
   
   
   
   
   
   There are a number of advices given for couples to have a set of fixed ground rules beforehand, whether to call every day or so, to chat about stuff, or to do some online activities together. In general, this may be a good idea to make sure you and your significant other free up time for each other, but flexibility should be given priority. You do not expect your significant other to be jovial during the pre-exams tension if he is always the kind to get stressed up during this "season". Or sometimes, he/she may be busy handing some tasks at hand or getting too tired. Or there might be a night out for the guys/girls which your significant other would want to attend but being held back by the phone calls. Given long enough, this passion that both of you share may turn into a sense of responsibility, which can be quite a killer because it would be too late when you'd realised it. So give yourself and your significant others some space to breathe. You wouldn't want to suffocate them, would you?
   
   Given that relationship is an art and not a mathematical equation, the balance is hard to come by and differs from person to person, making it an even harder task altogether.
   
   
4. Insecurity
   
   
   
   
   
   "What if he/she cheats on me?" "Would he/she be loving me lesser as each day passes by?" These questions are on the infectious side, and sadly to say, your family doctor would not be able to cure it. When you are far apart from your significant other, your mind starts to play all sorts of game on you, making you doubting your significant other, and vice-versa. The sense of insecurity is further amplified when there are "competitors" around while you aren't. Just to quote an example, a friend of mine having an LDR with his gf found that most of his high school friends are trying to go after his gf. And it's a different bunch everyday trying to do all sorts of chore for her such as carrying her bag to classes!
   Let's just face the reality, if your significant other is the type to be infidel, your worries would not change the outcome. In fact, thank the "competitor" for weeding out for you!
   
   So, you should trust your significant other instead. Honesty and trust is always cherished in a relationship. (but do not confuse honesty with lack of flattery)
   
   
5. Temptations
   
   
   
   
   
   Ah, the pretty girl in the business course, the cute eligible doctor in the A&E ward, and the ones who are willing to shower you with gifts or bring you out to posh fancy restaurants. The temptations never run dry from the Pandora's box if you'd asked me. This is the part where coincides with the world's righteous selection: gray and not just black and white. You must remember to draw a clear line between you and the temptations surrounding you, in hope that you do not go overboard. Know your limits, and remember, karma does exist, and it affects you now and then, so beware!
   
   
6. Ambitions
   
   
   
   
   Sometimes, a relationship is clouded by the difference in ambitions. Your boyfriend may want a maid as a wife, but you disagree otherwise as you aim to conquer the world. You may be the one to be easily contented, but your girlfriend may want you to work harder and be a billionaire by 30. Or perhaps both of you have your dreams to chase, and you think that you have to choose between your dreams and your relationship. You might even think that your significant other lacks the quality you seek as you climb towards your ambitions. All these irony just meant that it would not last and rather than sticking to it, you're advised to end it early. If you wouldn't want it to be so, the best thing is to compromise and juggle your time for your career nad your relationship. It wouldn't be easy, as I'd mentioned, but at least you have to try to make it work.
   
   
7. Pressure
   
   
   
   
   
   Imagine the piling up pressure when people tells you that they envy your relationship. You became even more afraid that the bubble might burst. As you exert more on yourself to outdo the "odds" that you imposed on yourself, the self-fulfilling prophecy works its magic. Soon, you'll be overpossessive and drive your significant other crazy.
   
   Try to maintain a cool head and reason out your doubts. No harm sharing it with your significant other, but don't bring out the subjects too often. Even the repetition of "I Love You" might lose its appeal and passion if you'd used it too often, particularly if its the main content of your chats.
   

As mentioned, there are also other pitfalls, but here is where I stop for you readers to ponder. Do not just blame it for the lack of feelings for each other as the distance has increased by time, but rather channel your efforts to making your relationship works.

In the end, an LDR is just like walking a 50km path on foot when you can hitch a ride thorugh the journey. The journey is a horrendous torment itself, and those who live to tell the experience are heroes of their own tales, while those who stumbled lived to remember the nightmares of such a journey, or to withstood the challenge again with the lessons well learnt.

It's Just the Sequence.


I believe that marriage could be and should be something sacred. But what I found while surfing online did give me a laugh. Would any couples behave in such a manner? Read on:

Before Marriage
Ah Beng: Ah... Alas, I can hardly wait!
Ah Lian: Do you want me to leave?
Ah Beng: NO! Don't even think about it.
Ah Lian: Do you love me?
Ah Beng: Of course! Always have and always will!
Ah Lian: Have you ever cheated on me?
Ah Beng: NO! Why are you even asking?
Ah Lian: Will you kiss me?
Ah Beng: Every chance I get, baby!
Ah Lian: Will you hit me?
Ah Beng: Heck no! Are you crazy?!
Ah Lian: Can I trust you?
Ah Beng: Yes!!
Ah Lian: Darling!!!!~

So what's next after marriage? The conversation had never change. Perhaps' it's just the sequence. Try reading from bottom back to the top.

Pretty ironic isn't it? :P

Life doesn't really change after marriage didn't it? Bottoms up!!!

Hope no one will ever get this in their life! n_n

Disclaimer: The author shall not be responsible for any damages incurred by readers due to reading this. This is just a work of fiction and not meant to depict the life of anyone. It should be taken with a pinch of sugar as this is intneded to be of light humor.

My dear had never like stitching. What else cross-stitching. In fact, she had never really done any stitching before this. But she had done this for me:


Isn't this wonderful? It's hard and difficult for beginner to finish this in 2 weeks time, and it's quite a large piece. See the pen at the right bottom corner? That would be the relative scale of the workpiece.

And it was a surprise present which I got today when she came all the way from Ipoh to give it to me in KL. n_n

I'm kind of speechless, and I'm thankful for having you in my life. You have always been there listening to my problems, for all those times you stood by me, and the concerns you'd shown me, I'm really really touched.

I know I can be a jerk at times, and how my ego had been merciless, and there were times when I had u broken down in tears for the silly things that I'd done. I'm truly sorry, for I know that I'm far from being perfect, though I think I should have improve a little bit at least, after months.

I feel glad to be with you. I feel honored. I feel proud. I feel...I feel being loved, that is, to be "sayang"ed. You have always been understanding, and I truly appreciate it. Thank you.


With love,
Yee Ming

P.S. I Love You
*Note: This would really be a rare post as the author would usually prefer to keep his love life personal. But this is rather notable in the author's opinion, so an exception is given for this. n_n
For those who might be feeling nauseous, please get a plastic bag immediately! X'D

The Simple Truth

This is a response to a post from Y Sun titled "Is Marriage Necessary?"

I think the illustration above, in a way, depicts everything. There's this saying that goes, "Sex is to men as marriage is to women."

Or perhaps, you can check some irony in "Marriage is the price men pay for sex and sex is the price women pay for marriage."

So, is marriage necessary for love? Is sex necessary for love? Ponder upon these simple questions and reflect it yourselves, my dear readers.

As a matter of fact, I do not usually state my facts as solid as an iron fist. They flow like a stream passing through the rocks, never able to displace the rocks, but yet able to shape them with time. And the rock could never stop the flowing stream, but they could alter its directions of flow. That is how it works, and I'm quite comfortable with it.


Marriage is defined as a union between a men and a women, and in my opinion, should remain so. But the legalization of gay marriages in certain societies makes the scope wider, thus it can be only said to involve two individuals. Here, I should emphasize again that I'm not against gays, but I do not embrace their practices, although I abhor gay pastors in churches. Again, marriage is something which binds two person together, such that the society would recognize them as a couple, in other words, keeping a hands off sign to the rest (Although the ethics and moral in this has dwindled with the emergence of more and more films portraying adultery as a norm in the society) It is, in fact, the so-called once-in-a-lifetime experience that the people in the wedding business use as an excuse to squeeze each ounce of juice from your wallet. Of course, a marriage should not be viewed as something that strengthen your relationship, but rather a fruit of your strong relationship.

Let me share you an opinion from what I've heard from friends around me. The fantasies of most guys I met involve sex while the fantasies of most girls I met involve marriage. Therefore, I do not see any wrong with having any fantasies, because it is just a normal process and behavior. (Despite the fact that the females have always manage to inch closer to their fantasies compared to men, with their extremely manipulative skills) What one need to realize is that fantasies are always fantasies, so keep your reality in check, unless your dad owns the bank.

In my opinion, marriage is just a step up towards another level of responsibility, just like having a child. Having such responsibilities would require a matured and sound mind, as in being able to handle a situation together and willing to face the problems together. As such abilities can be learnt along during the years of marriage, I do not advise for perfectionism before marriage. What is required is a willing mind who's mentally prepared for it, preferably with planning (or some ideas, at least) after marriage, and all should be able to go on smoothly, as well as ensuring a more stable relationship. Of course, this does not include shotgun marriage, arranged marriage, emotional marriage, blind marriage, bridal-for-sale marriage, etc.


So, for some, especially in the Western Countries, cohabitation is practised as a premarriage relationship, at least giving some time for each other to get along better and understand each other better. I'm sure that would be better than realizing that your husband/wife is a monster only after marriage and just too late. And yet, that, would cause some flinch to some if not all my readers who are of Asian cultural values. This would spark another round of endless debate, but that altogether, is another different story.

And since my answers would be so lengthy when people ask me if marriage is necessary, I'll just stick with the uppermost illustration in this post, THE SIMPLE TRUTH.

The North-South Pole of Males and Females :Attraction has No Options


I’m sure many of you guys readers here would have raise an eyebrow reading this post. My blog is not a blog about double dating girls, or how to get them. But this post is an honorable response to Boss Stewie’s post “Nice Guys Finish Last”. I would start off today’s topic with, “Attraction Has No Options”

I’m sure many of you had observed that ‘nice guys’ could not always get a girl. Most ‘nice guys’, I would say. There is a reason behind it. Perhaps we had been too stuck with the idea from our parents or grandfather’s stories that a woman "SHOULD" feel attracted to a "nice guy". If that is true, I would advise you to start opening your eyes, and take a look around. There are THINGS in life that you probably had missed for your whole life.

1. There are tonnes of average looking guys with average height, average income, but had more success with women than you do. What makes it worse are those shorties and uglies who got model-like girlfriends that most guys envy, to the fact that at the back of your mind, you think that they do not deserve their girlfriends.
2. Females tend NOT to be attracted to “nicest” guys around.
3. Those bad boys that you had been labeling them as fare better with girls than you do. That hurts more. Far far more.
4. No matter how nice you act, it just wouldn’t work.

The truth is, we are humans. We can’t control our brain as precise as we thought we could. We can’t control when are we going to be hungry, we can’t control our joy and despair. So, what else can’t we control?

Of course, it’s the attraction mechanism in our brain. In short, if you are attracted to something, you can’t do anything about it.

And this brings us back to our topic: “Attraction Has No Options”

A girl may tell you that she wants a handsome guy. She wants a rich guy. She wants a guy who speaks perfect English/Chinese. She wants a guy who treats her nicely. So there you go, Mr Nice guys who try to be handsome, rich, good in language and treats the girls nicely. But it still fails. Why? It’s simply because you are just fulfilling her wants, and not make her attracted to you!!

Every girl wants an interesting guy. A guy with confidence. A guy who would stand up to you and tell you that you're wrong (not every time la)A guy who flirts but never came close to obeying you like your house dog.

This is where the bad boys come in. They may have the bad attitude, but hey, we can't blame them. That’s because they have attitude!! Those criteria above has somewhat been fulfilled although they are not nice. Barely pass, but still, a pass.

Compare with the 'nice' guys. No confidence. A Mr. Yes guy who frustrate you because he always say yes, making you feel like talking to a wall. A guy who never say anything bad or interesting other than plain flattery. A guy who sometimes whine and complain in the midst of a soon-to-be interesting date. A guy who obeys you like a lap dog. Oh gosh, you already had one at home, you thought.

So who would have the advantage? I’m sure you know.

In short, attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice." It is not an option.

Females wouldn’t go talking to a man and say to herself "Wow, he seems smart, funny, cool, bla blah... Just the kind of guy I've been looking for. I think I'll start being attracted to him."

Instead, attraction happens at subconscious level. It is an autonomic response of the limbic system. You feel good around that someone because of a somewhat pleasant memory or encounter. So, different people have different emotional responses to certain stimulants or motivation. Of course, for men, attraction usually goes superficial, pretty face and a sexy body. Or the perhaps typical innocent damsel in distress style girl to boost the male ego the size of a black hole. (Although there are some exceptions, like me X’P) For women, it usually happens for other reasons which may not be of physical reasons. (That’s why males get turn on easily by porn while females need more of an emotional stimulants like a simple and sincere “I Love you” at the right time. And that doesn’t mean you go saying “I love you” all the time, my dear guy friends)

Saying this, attraction therefore has its own “logic”. Just don’t be a Mr. Nice Guy beyond reasoning. You don’t drive her around from point A to point B which is very far away when you stay in between point A and B, just for the sake of fetching her. You don’t fetch someone’s purse from SS2 to KLCC where she works, especially when you’re nearby KLCC from the start. It’s just being an idiot with an IQ of 80. (Normal IQ is 100)

Let's just say that use gifts, favors, and romance like a spice... not the main dish.

So, think twice before you do something too irrational. Such relationship won’t last. What she has is just a slave or a driver ‘Ah Mat’. And, please be nice within reason. There’s one piece of advice to all guys out there.

You have to be nice to the girl only if you want to be her “ji mui”. (Sisters)

Nuffnangers Nang Me!! Nang Me!! Click here!! Keke..

A reply to a Blogger's Blog

This is an excerpt from fellow blogger who was my classmate for 4 years in secondary school:

"Love can be beautiful and yet, ugly and destructive. In school I was taught that the heart is a muscular organ which pumps blood through blood vessels, but she didn’t talk about the ability of a heart to sense the sweetness and bitterness of love. What makes a heart capable of feeling pain, when a broken heart is not treated in the orthopedic wing of the hospital?"

Well, Love can be the sweetest thing on earth, and it could also be the most bitter. I was taught that heart is just a muscular pump gushing blood within our bodies, and yet it felt pain and joy of love, when the feelings comes from the limbic system in the brain. No one is treated by a cardiologist for a heartbroken case, nor a brain surgeon and neurologist can do a single thing to cure it. Then, why does people crave for it?


Yes, Love, to me is likened to a Pandora's box. We knew that within it lies the worst attributes beyond one could imagine, yet we seek to open it, for the sake of Hope. In hope that we would find the right one to enter our lives and cherish them. But we had always been blinded by the other contents in the box. Greed, Envy, Slander, Lies clouded our judgment and make us lose grip of Love.

How often do we need to fall in love to find the right one? That is a hard one to say. Within each and every one of us, there lies a Pandora's box lurking, and it requires 2 person to be in love. What else wrath can be worse when there's 2 Pandora's box needed to be handled? Thus, patience and tolerance would provide ample time to develop understanding in a relationship. And every relationship requires effort put in to make it work.

I'm not sure what mine would end up in? But I can be sure that the Pandora's box is not that hard to deal with, when you have the right partner. And I think I've found one. *wink*

Billboard for Divorce

This is in response to the marriage proposal costing RM40,ooo for the 1-day billboard rent recently (1-2 months back?). I do not object the RM14,000 he spend on the diamond ring, but the billboard ad? Is it really worth the money? Many people still think that it is a waste of money. Plus, he is not rich anyway. It'll be a different story if it's either of my buddies, Bill Gates or Donald Trump.


The Moral of this story? Think twice before you do something foolish. But then again, the world would not complain for someone who would like to move the economy by spending. Many would be wondering how would their marriage end up. I for sure, am waiting for the news in hope for the second billboard to come true. Anyone willing to spend that much for a divorce?

WARNING: Please do not proceed reading this if you are under the age of 18, or if your religion does not allows the practice the sex discussion. Reader's discretion is advised.

I'm sure everyone would be curious about sex as it is not really a proper education in Malaysia. Conventional thoughts had hold education back of its ability to proceed forward to well equip the younger generation of sex. Thus, sex education in schools are not really about sex, but mostly about the the basic survival process of living beings. Plus, in medical schools in Malaysia, (at least my Uni) they omit the physiological importance of erection, orgasm and sexual intercourse, leaving the medical students with a cold dry module of reproductive system. What is life without life itself? Without sex, no life. No life, no sex. Thus, I'm going to publish the research findings regarding sex from Durex, with some journal appraisal of my own.

Introduction

As we all know, Durex is one of the leading brand in sex products, especially condoms. Durex is the trademarked name for a range of condoms made by UK-based multinational SSL International.

The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey (SWGS) is the most comprehensive study of its kind the world has ever seen. 26,000 people worldwide were asked in-depth questions about aspects of their health, wellbeing, social circumstances, education, beliefs, their sex lives and their attitudes to sex.

Here, I am releasing a small part of their studies, regarding the drivers of satisfaction in sex.

Physical Drivers

• Free from stress and good mental and physical health. In general, we need to be free from stress and be in good mental and physical health.
• The ability to achieve orgasm. Achieving orgasm is a key driver of sexual satisfaction. Just 48% of us said that they usually orgasm. Globally, twice as many men (64%) as women regularly have orgasms.
• Free from sexual dysfunction. Maintaining an erection and having enough lubrication to enjoy sex is another important component according to our findings, 34% of women questioned have, at some point in their lives, experienced vaginal dryness, 24% of men have reported difficulties getting an erection and 29% have had problems sustaining one.
• Frequency of sex and foreplay. Having sex frequently enough also affects satisfaction levels for both sexes, along with having sufficient foreplay. Frequency of sex and sexual satisfaction peaks between the ages of 20 and 34 but it is still important, as people get older: those over 65 are still having sex more than once a week. Frequency of sex differs between countries.

Comments:
The statistics show that men are twice as likely to achieve orgasm than women. Is this a problem with the men or the women? Let me interpret this: women are twice as likely to satisfy their partners than men do. Men DO need to improve their abilities on bed rather than being inflated with more ego. This is further confirmed by the fact that 34% of women experienced vaginal dryness (insufficient foreplay?), 53% of men experienced erectile dysfunction (failure of initiating or sustaining erection)

Therefore, I would proclaim that men do have their own disabilities which would inhibit their ability to perpetuate if they are left alone without the care of females. So before you would insult any females, THINK TWICE. They are BETTER than you.


Note: This is an unorthodox way of honoring the celebration of International Women's Day on the 8th of March, coinciding with the general election held in Malaysia. Here, I pay my tribute to all the females in the world for their contributions to the world. Without females, I am neither a son, a student, a lover, nor anything. The world is in a dysfunction state without women.

Golden rules to reach out to a girl.


rules to call a girl. Yeah, it was kinda striken true when you see a guy got overexcited and boasted to his friends that he got a girl's number. Two things could possibly happen from here on for him: He got dumped not long right after, failing in his attempt; or he will get along if the girl is a mad desperado craving for attention. Either way, it spells DISASTER. But nevermind, everyone goes through this learning phase, and even me myself had humble beginnings. It just happened that I grew faster, considering that I had overshot to be the Flirt King in UKM Medic Fac of the First Years and the Head of Dept of Flirtology of Faculty of Paktorlogy UKM. To be frank, it's nothing of a true flirt. It's just the essence of flirting put together to build relationships with friends without being a true playboy or Casanova. I guess it wouldn't hurt anyway.

mentioned above just now, kindly refer to the Aaron Sim blog by the blog links I'd refer you to. Heck, I'm promoting other people's blog because I'm just too lazy to plagiarize everything. Credits to him though. He made me think of those countless futile attempts of mine before the enlightenment came. And here's the summary along with the comments of it.

Keep your conversations short.
Whether you are a busy attorney as pictured by Sandy Cohen or you are just bumming around, you would want to consider giving her an impression that you do lead a full active life. Keeping your initial conversation brief, well spoken and give her the right attention when she speaks, it gives her the impression you are in demand by your surroundings. Ending the conversation before it runs dry also tells her that you know how to keep things in control and leave her looking at your cellphone for more of your calls. A day breaker for her when she receives your call.
Comment: That's kind of true. The fact is, a human's attention span is very short, perhaps for the first 5 minutes. However, the "well spoken" part might be subjective to different people. No girl really wants a gentleman talk, because there's dozens of them talking to her the same way as you did everyday. Just be natural, don't pretend to be someone else and crack a joke or two. Personally, I would like to be cocky and funny as my 'master' said, but I'd prefer sticking to my own lame jokes. Develop your own style. Get her attention, and then leave with it. This goes with a BANG, and you've got the right spot. The key: Be confident and natural. Females can sense fear like hound dogs. It doesn't really matter if you're short, poor, or not as handsome as me,*wink* but if you got the confidence, you win. I would have a list to teach you so, but I'd reserve that as my teaching materials in my faculty.


Say Bye with a high note
No I’m not asking to say bye as in bye~~ like Pavarotti does. I’m saying before you end your conversation, make an effort to leave a positive note. Be it a good joke or an encouragement. She would always remember the last thing you said on the phone. Leave her a ’smiling’ tone as you say goodbye and she is more likely to want to speak to you again.
Comment: You can call it a smiling tone, I call it confidence. Don't act like a wussy telling her how you wouldn't let go of her in a depressed manner. You'll scare her more than you intend to. But there's always exceptions for everything. You can tell her how you will miss her when you're not busy, in a jovial, light tone. No serious tone please, especially on the first few calls.

Think & Have A Purpose
I cannot fully explain to you this. Whatever it is make sure you prepare yourself before you make a phone call. Be sure to know what tone to use, when to leave a message, what time of the day to call and so fourth. Of course don’t simply just start to ask her out immedietly and don’t beat around the bush for long either. Have a purpose for your call and make it short, sweet and simple.
Comment: Practice makes perfect. No serious or sober tone. It's just instinct. But be sure for one thing. Don't make it a routine to call her. Be unpredictable. This creates tension around you. If you're a natural, you wouldn't realise it because you're too occupied with your daily tasks and job. This sends her the message that she's not the top priority, and you've got better things to do than just looking for her. This makes you stand out as a non-wussy like most guys that she had ever met.

Positivity
Women might have a soft spot to be nice listeners and symphatise on your gloomy day. But the truth is, she probably won’t stick around if you are all about gloom and constantly emitting negative charges. It doesn’t matter if your boss is a jackass but complaints are a real turnoff for another woman especially when they had a bad day too and they want you to listen. Once you started all out, she would feel reluctant to share hers since she thinks it might make your day bad. This would make you look needy. So avoid it if possible. Be a man. Do the right thing - Russell Peters.
Comment: Look, I know most of you always think that opposite attracts. But this is not the case here. This will cause lightning which would be lethal if it strikes you. The fact is, no one really likes gloomy people. This makes them unattractive. You might be able to tolerate gloominess at first, but imagine doing this for the rest of your life. Create a balance, I would preferably say, because no one can be postive all the time though. Just don't dominate and let the other person talk to you too. This is called communication skills.

Leaving a message and phone calls
Get this right. Firstly you should avoid leaving messages on the first call. You cannot get yourself under her radar by having her to find out there are 20 miscalls and 9 voice messages and don’t try to test her radar capability by calling from an unknown number to see if she is there or not.
If she doesn’t answer, hang up. Call back later. On you second call, if there still isn’t an answer, leave a message and leave it in a coherent and positive tone. Don’t leave long rambling messages on her voicemail. You see, if you message turns out to be the first message, it could potentially be played back and analyzed several times over. Tone and choice of wording play a key role. Identify yourself, leave a phone number or some way she could reach you back if she fails to reach you on your cellphone. Don’t just go ” hey it’s me”
Call her at the right time. She would not be too respective on your phone call if she is among her friends or co-workers or even her boss. Avoid calls on Saturday nights.
Comment: Well, there's hardly leaving a message in Malaysia. SMS her then. If she does have one, don't ever try to mess with it. There's no need for playbacks. A female can sense it if you're being confident or not from the first hearing. Keep out of radar as been mentioned. If there's ever a female doing playnacks, she must be too interested in you. But then again, I would advise you to stay away from her for she might be a potential stalker. Leave her an SMS, and wait till she reply. There's no need to bombard her with SMSes. You wouldn't want to look like a desperate wussy, which will send an immediate SOS to her of "Keep a distance from this guy". One SMS is much more effective than "more than one". To me, it doesn't really matter if you say "Hey, it's me" if you say it in a light tone. Don't sound sober and you're all right. Don't get too long on the phone anyway, for telephone bills are expensive (unless you're separated by distance, overseas for example) and mobile phones have radiation. Get face to face preferably, but that would be another lesson altogether.

P.S. Females don't like weakness and insecurity in men.


to the Fac of Paktorlogy UKM if you're interested to know more. Just kidding. No admission for non-coursemates. Hehe..

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms