Temptations & Ambitions

Guess I've been long absent in the blog. What am I doing? Packing and getting ready to get into UKM. A journey finished, and another soon to come. To all my TARC classmates, goodbye. I don't know when will we meet again, for all of us will be going separate ways. Friends come and go, and a new journey will always require new acquaintance. As I bade farewell, I look forward, leaving the past behind. No matter how sad or ugly it turned out in the end, it doesn't really matter. All past is past. Memories will be memories. At least, it turned out that I had no past to look back or fall back on. The hopes of future provide solace, as I continue another chapter, with its ever high and low note. Whatever it awaits, I know I had to strive. Life is waiting. Time is not.
Been to medical checkup at Mediviron Desa Setapak. Everything seems normal from the X-Ray to the Urine test. Nope, no positive results for drugs or alcohol. Paying RM60 for it. Today, went to pay my Yuran Kemasukan in Bank Islam at Taman Melawati, as well as to open a bank account there for UKM requirements. Used my own money to pay the RM1,219. Yes, my own money. Got ang pow for entering local Uni and for STPM results. Add all up, I think can pay for the year's University fees. Arrived there at 9.40am, took a number, is 1043, when the current number is 1012. So go home first, photostat IC and come back. The problem is, there's not many car park spaces, and the parking area is autopay, hav to put minimum 50 cents. And guess what, I got only 40 cents (4X10 cents) and few 5-cents coins(cannot use ler). I ask for a change at the car-park security center and they refused me. Poor me, 10 cent only. At last, a young Samaritan Malay 'jaga' gave me a 20-cent coin for free. I want to repay him with my RM1 note but he insist that I should just take the 20 cent coin. I really thank him. but then, when I reached the bank, the number's way passed mine. It's already 1055. I took another number, which is 1100. Lolz, have to wait again. But luckily, Bank Islam is quite efficient, although it's a small bank. My transaction is done swiftly, but too bad the ATM card verifying machine is not working. So, have to wait for an hour there. And the bank officer is still polite enough to apologise for the long wait. Thumbs up for Bank Islam!! Hehe..
Later, after having lunch at one of the shops at Melati Utama, my dad brought us to tour the UKM KL campus. 1st, went to the hostel, which is Kolej Kediaman Syed Nasir. It's just about 100-200 meters from the SMK Puteri Titiwangsa and Seri Titiwangsa. Isn't that Shu Ying and gang's secondary school? Anyway, the place seem to be good condition, although it's just flat(4-storeys building) . I will have to stay there for a year. n_n" Then, searching for UKM KL campus, which is very near the KL Hospital, (Which is also known as General Hospital, for those who don't know about it) or should I say, it seems to be in the KL hospital area. I always hear bout the GH, but never really look at it. Oh my,the place is so big, I think at least half the size of TARC Setapak Campus(or maybe as big as it). Even UPM's medic clinical years is in GH. Really fascinated by the view, cos my impression of GH as described as many people is that it will be quite dilapidated cos too many people go there. Seems that it has gone lots of upgrading, perhaps.
Anyway, what I need to do is to pack now. I need to get everything packed up and prepare to go UKM Bangi campus this sunday. Can't really believe it, I'm already entering University life.Going to turn 20 next month, I've gone through so many things now. I remember when I was small, I always wonder how would I apprehend all those complex knowledge of the world. I was always afraid when I had thought of it. It gives me the shiver and made me worried. But at least, I knew what I'd needed. 1 step at a time. I knew that there are always more complex things in the world which is hard to understand, compared to the ones I will be facing. Maybe that helps me to think positive, so that I don't have the thoughts that what I'm studying is hard. Looking back at the childhood brings back sweet memories, because I never ever imagined myself to be able to think and rationalise at such a young age. At that time, it seemed normal, but now, I'll look back back and say, "Wow, when I'm so small also know how to think like that arhh?" Maybe many will have gone through the same thing. and some failed to realised it too. But, it migh not matter anymore, because it is just a piece of memory long from the past. It is up to us, whether tobring it back, to fondle with our childhood memories of happy moments. That, I leave to you readers to ponder.

Just a day after the previous post, the IPTA results is out. Well, I didn't expect it so fast, because there's nothing in the newspaper mentioning it. But then, got the SMS from my cousin brother. He's going into UKM chemical engineering. He's 1 year younger, but he got into matriculation. So, we're entering Uni together now. By the way, I got my choice. Medicine (MD) at UKM. A sense of relief, cos that's my 1st choice. I don't want UM anyway (My second choice) and since it's highly competitive, I don't think they want me also. Hehe.. UPM is kind of new, so I scared also. USM is quite good I heard, but at Kelantan? That kills the interest. So, yes, I got it. UKM, here I come. Hehe.. The offer letter online from UKM will be available tomorrow morning. So it means, I'm going down the path of torture.. Waa... HELP!!!
Ee? Wait a minute. I just had a look at UKM webpage. The offer letter is available now. Wow..so fast. There's so many things to read. Looks like I'll spend the whole night reading. That's all for now. Byez..

After 7 months, I could not do much. All is lost. Yes, I do have
the glory of the STPM(Sudah Tua Pergi Mati) results. But I do not have anything left in my head. Good riddance. And I don't know why we should be happy with what we get, if we are to forget them anyway. Anyway, look at the bright side. I do always have the fear that it would get all over my head. At least it didn't for now. Take it and throw it. Let it go, and look forward. I don't want to relinquish the past anymore. There's too many happy and sad moments. The ups and downs. Sometimes, I just wish that I could totally forget everything. But yet, I know, no one should forget their past, and should make use of it in the future. Theories. Theories. Theories. When could I start being practical? One day perhaps, when I'm 80, sitting on the rocking chair (or whatever it's called), looking back at my past, to show to my grandkids. And then again, what is being practical my time might not be so in the future. -.-"
Maybe some might wanna ask about my love life? Or
relationship? The thing that I had never mentioned in my blogs? Nothing much. There's always ups and downs in a relationship. Most people have the same beginning and ending. It starts happily, and end in sorrority. Simply put, of course everyone will start a sweet relationship, otherwise why they start anyway. And, in the end, the reason for breakup will not be sweet and always heartbreaking at least to one's side. Or, the other sorrow ending, bind to the marriage life, loss of total freedom, and, using the substitution method, you get tolerance and routine. So, isn't it the same for everyone? Happy start, sad ending. n_n"
Guess next week will be the IPTA results coming out. All the
best to everyone who will be applying for it.

World Cup season. Just about my life. Myself. Just like any anime, I'm just in the fillers now. A whooping 7 months trailer? Quite a long time. Soon, this will be all over. I could just beg and plead for the holidays to stay. But yet, a part of me wish to get out of this comfort zone that I had embraced myself in. The world is waiting. There's plenty of rest in the grave. A man should work his way in life. Compared to the course of time, our lives are just like a flicker of candle light. Too short to change the world, moulded by each and every one of us. The struggle of mankind to survive showed that we are all survivors. At least for those who are still standing alive. Yet, we ought to live our lives to the fullest, and with no regrets. whether if it's just a spark, a flicker, or anything longer than that, we will always be there, so that we could brighten the world. To make the world a better place(or worse) . But soon, as I realised, if there is afterlife, I would not want to go to heaven nor hell. I would want to be reincarnated, to live the life as a human for countless times, so that the I would always be the flicker that would always brighten the world, and also to witness the course of time to all of us. Who knows what will happen in the future? Wouldn't you want to see it? No matter how you hate or like certain people, ask yourself, didn't they make your life colorful? Would you prefer harping music for eternity in heaven? Or being a slave labor for your rather long 'life' down there? Nah, just a depiction. No one really knows what is waiting for us in afterlife. Dreams become visions when everyone believes. So, religious ones, don't debate here. I do not welcome free radicals here.
but still not to my peak. Haiz.. Need some improving on my endurance. Though could last for 2 hours, I need to train to stay in court for 4 hours at least. I could feel fatigue all around me now. What an old man I am now. Anyway, really feel like playing football also. Haven't really touch one since Form 4. Maybe it's because we'll need many people to play football. What's football if there's no 11 a side? Basketball can play 3 on 3 at least. Must really give credits to playing football last time, cos it helped a lot in my footwork, which I use for my basketball playing too. n_n Guess any sports with a ball is the same. You need two things: Footwork and ball-sense. So maybe I'll play football, in computer game lor. n_n No stamina to run along the field. Still remember I got cramps from running too much while playing football. being a winger is no fun in football, have to run up and down the field. That's why I ended playing basketball: Smaller court..hehe..
World Cup '98. Brazil. not really a great fan of them, but I know they are capable. Not like the England team, a whole bunch of crap. I know, many Malaysians support England, cos England still has this colonial mindset on us. We think they are BETTER. Especially the adult men who live through the 60's and 70's. But I don't blame those apek la, can't change their mindset one. There's been lesser England supporters in younger generation, except those residuals who took their dad's footsteps when they listen so much how their dad think the England team was great. The Germans can be better than them, especially with the set-pieces. Really a wonder how the Germans play, just like how they play hockey, relying on teamwork. Anyway, I just want to cut the crap short. In summary, people are going crazy when they see 22 people chasing madly at just one ball. If they are so obsessed, then just give the 22 players a ball each, so they don't need to chase anymore. n_n"

as possible, so that at least there won't be any 'hee haa' obnoxious blog hanging here and there. Today, I had a walk in Carrefour and passed by the Mehraj bookstore, one that I had frequented so much for the past two years. Nolstalgia snugged in, urging me to walk into it. I found the 'Bible' that I had wanted to hold for many years. One that I had dreamt for many years. It is now the 'Book of Life' for me. It holds the piece of history that I had gone through. The dark secret hidden within. Something not many will know, and not many had the courage to go through it, and yet, many who had much wealth for not having the need to go through it too. Think no further. It's just a piece of history that only I will value, and no one else would ever treasure it. It's just STPM 2005 compilation of Science papers.
So, in the end, I will try to erase the fears I had. Face it, and conquer it. And it should not be banished, for it should be kept as a reminder in the future. No one should erase history, instead, make use of it for the advantage of the future.