Temptations & Ambitions

celebrate actually. I'm just a typical KL guy who stays at home on Merdeka day, doing nothing, except for lazing around the house, or perhaps, savouring the holiday by doing something of leisure. Yes, perhaps the Merdeka Day has been too long, that no one truly celebrate the 'special' day because of its true meaning. Tell that to most of us, and we could just shrug it off. Even then, only a few of our parents were actually born before Merdeka, and I wonder if they were able to recall it, not to say that they had the 'maturity', or what you call it, to apprehend what is happening around them. Sigh, here I am, blabbing non-sense again. But what do I care? This is my blog, and I have full control over it. Hehe..
KTSN, especially when the network switch is under trial run. Thomson and Jo Ee had been participative enough to join in, especially when I DO have just enough LAN cables. Yi Hui and the rest will be buying the cables very soon, as the Dota Club will be formed soon. Lolz..
have to do the same thing. So, we can leave it for now. The best part is that I had not fallen asleep during lectures for the past two days, quite an improvement from the previous attempts to stay awake. Maybe ebough sleep at night really does the trick. n_n"
just into Uni life that I'm too busy to have anything to do with current affairs. What I know can be called history. That's the irony part, but I know I will soon get used to it. Quite a number of the Chinese Medical students are pairing up, especially those who are still single, although there are those whose 'singleness' status is in question. Whatever it is, I see nothing wrong with it, and I stand as a passerby of time, looking at such events, blooming like the flowers in spring. My heart, yet, is still single, though not hungry for anything, or perhaps for the goals in life. The assignment on spirituality and religion is going to take some time, I know, for I am a free thinker. Nevertheless, I will be able to give my piece of thought, in a fashionable way, to find the true meaning, and the reason for the existence of life.

away from studies. How am I now? I just don't know. It felt as if I'm in Uni for years, for I had not much contact with the rest of the TARCians classmates. As each of us gone to separate ways, I'd lost track of their ways. Yesterday night, I had a char with Wei Ann. He's studying E&E in Singapore. Tiong Leh, Jia Wan, Ronald and few more went there last month. Weird, when I say last month, it felt as it was a long time back. Perhaps the way I'm studying is going to take its toll. I must learn how to relax..zzz... Anyway, found out from Wei Ann that Kok Sin did not go to NTU to study Chemical Engineering. It seems that he changed his mind and is now in UTM pursuing his Chemical Engineering there. I didn't get the chance to ask him as I was busy for my registration and had forgotten about it soon enough. And I know he'll be able to do well there, even in an adverse situation.
more books as usual, the Lippincott's Illustrated Review of Histology(RM150) and the 'Papa' Robbins Basic Histology(RM199). As the total cost for books now totalled RM1,750, I couldn't help wonder how much these books cost in overseas. Basically, nothing much happened, just study, study, and study. The week's PBL is about bone fracture, so it's rather simple. We just had to gather up a few learning issues and find it out by ourelves. Since my library is had quite sufficient resources, it saved my time to go online, since it's hard to find internet connection here. (Not to mention my laziness as well) Eventhough I had read well in advance, there's still a lot I couldn't comprehend. Maybe it's because different books explain different things that migh contradict each other. Now that there's no tutorial classes too, we had to search and conclude by ourselves. And there you go, I'm spending much of my time in the room. With a roommate who's so hardworking, I had to gear up too.-.-" Sometimes just feel like throwing a book at him when he's studying. Haha.. That's how I will teach him what is trauma, and fracture healing. Uh oh..No more sinister thoughts, please.
looking at the histology slides, I started appreciating and enjoying it. Well, I guessed I had to, because our test and exam will test us on it, as asking questions about where the tissue is obtained from and identifying the tissue as well. In a sense, I feel that it's quite hectic in this life. But when I think back again, heck, what isn't hectic in life, except leisure? And so, I went on and o, almost being practically doing nothing but biology, human biology particularly. When I looked back at what I'm doing now in the future (Hope I could), I know I will say that I'm silly. Regardless of whatever I'm doing, I know the path is still long. I'm just 2.5% done of this path of medical course. Uh oh...

my home sweet home. The week's over, and everything seems to be in a calm state. The results for the formative assesment has been out. I'm just glad that I got a B+, considering that I left out 2 marks in the essay because of my carelessness. I couldn't care much now, and I think I got what I deserved. Only 2 got A, 3 got A-, 14 got B+, and along with many B's and C's, with the majority in E's. I'm not sure whether if it's really that hard, because it's hard to fail if you had put in effort. Jo Ee got an A, and he did really hard to get it though, considering the amount of hard work put in. But, being his roommate, I am always associated with his hard work, and quite a number thought I got an A as well. Haha, not that I didn't explain, but some misunderstood me although I said nothing of my results. Do I have the 'A' look? I'm sure I don't. Most of us were depressed of the results, and I am sure they will do fine if they DO worry about it. Perhaps, this will be a wake up call for most of us, and of course, not including me. I'm all awake, and if I continue steadily, I know I'll be graduating from the course, nothing much expected. Slow and steady wins the race. Maybe it's because I'm a tortoise, that's why I don't really have a drastic wake up call. The test is just to gage the our understanding of the knowlegde, and I bet it did realise its objectives.

Here I am, in room SKK 3. Just in case if you didn't know, SKK means Sesi Kumpulan Kecil. Cool room, with internet facilities, and a conducive environment to study. But, unfortunately, this does not belong to my group. My group is SKK 18, which is in the lab. Son.. Only the last 3 groups (18, 19, 20) is in the lab, enjoying nothing except the spacious environment of the 'big' lab. -.-"
So, what am I doing here, except staring at the blank screen, doing nothing? Just a single dose of destress methology. I want to be online 24/7, but the lack of internet facilities in the hostel is always a letdown for all those hopes that I had. The only consolation is the Dotaing I had with AI in my laptop, and some chess entertainment. Just it has been said by my PPD (Personal and Professional Development) facilitator, we are undergoing a dehumanizing period. We are practically cut off from the world, knowing nothing even of entertainment. -.-"
As soon as the last module ends, a new one is just there lurking around the corner. I'm not sure how long I can last, and I can admit I'll be crazy or die of deteriorating health, whichever comes first. Nevertheless, it's still enjoying because I get to make new friends, though no love life, and don't plan to have one in the near future. That's all that I can say, and I miss you guys out there, whoever who's reading this piece of blog. Until we see each other, well wishes to all of you.

Module Break

I'm just far more than relieved. The questions weren't as hard as we thought it was. True, I might not get an A (And I don't really plan to get one), but it's just easy to pass it. There were some tough and tricky questions, but I don't think that upsets me. The only thing that gave the greatest upset is that I'm still ME. I forgo 2 marks in essay because I had forgotten about it. That question is worth 4 marks but I sped on to the next after answering 2 marks worth of answers. Just differences of de novo synthesis of purine and pyrimidine nucleotides. How hard can it be? Dang.. The multiplication factor is quite big, cos total is 30 only. So gone is the 6.7 marks out of 100. Haha.. (Damn kiasu la me, just let it go) But in the end, I know I don't need to be so stressed out by studies. Just take my own pace. It's like the burden has been let off from my shoulders. So, can start enjoy life now. Enjoy at your own risk. Lolz..
Didn't really expect to have a tournament-like of selection. The past week of chess 'warm-up' with my laptop has proved useful. At least I had oiled some rusty techniques. I won the 1st 3 games, drew the last two, to get a total of 4.0 marks. 4 flat eh..haha. I drew the 4th game because both of us lost in time. Although my time flag dropped 1st, he didn't realised it, so we drew, although I had a great material advantage. The 5th game too, when I allow him to get a stalemate. I got King, Queen, Rook, 2 pawns and a bishop versus his lone King. Haha..too sleepy ady, eyes blurry ler, play til 1 am.. (Gotta admit whether is sleepy or not, I'm always careless) But still, I got 2nd, and will be representing KTSN for the inter-college team event(our hostels are called colllege). Perhaps it's time to make new 'friends' at Bangi. Hehe.. Heard that there are national players in UKM, so don't think can progress far also. The usual winners are from Kolej Tun Dr Ismail, the hostel at HUKM. So, they are my seniors from 3rd to 5th year. Aiks, maybe I join them when I go HUKM. But for girls, I think my coursemate Lye Fen can go far. Tried sparing (in chess, of course) with her, very solid play. For girl's standard is very good ady. I sure lose if continue playing, but luckily guy's chess event going to start, so I escaped. Get to 'jaga muka'. n_n"And yea, another coursemate of mine, Kanit gets to represent KTSN too. Haven't tried playing chess with her, so must try out some day.
haven't sleep much. Should recharge now. See you again next week. Let the lullaby brings its own sweet melody.

LOST

with the 3rd season of LOST. A Sony Ericsson T630 handphone could have POSSIBLY flown off its master's pocket. (Actual reason unknown) Lost, it could never find its way back to its master, surviving under the new hands of the person who found it. *End of story*
the Persatuan Pelajar lecture. When I reached the campus, I realised something was missing, because my left pocket is too 'light'. Well, at first, I thought I left it in my car, so I didn't really bother to look for it. But, 2 hours later, I couldn't find it after a thorough search. So I went home and search for it, just in case I really left it at home. I tried calling the number, and no one answered, and no vibrations could be heard in the house. So, in the end, I went online and requested for my Digi's online itemised statement. (That's the good part of Digi) Someone used my handphone to call and SMS, but he/she apparently didn't transfer any credit away from my account. I quickly contacted Digi to suspend my account when I report it as 'Lost'. You know, there's still RM138 in it, better be quick. I got my Sim card replaced f.o.c at KLCC. So, what's that missing is only the handphone, with a few contacts gotten from the itemised statement. I called and no one answer. Much latter, she called back. I presume she's an illiterate Indonesian female, because she doesn't know how to reply my SMS, and she spoke with a heavy accent, asking me whether I'm from Balai Polis Selangor. Lolz.. I know my handphone is lost, so I don't bother to retrieve it back. Farewell to my dear handphone of 1 year and 1 month old. All my 300+ contacts is totally gone.Sob..
Yes, I did get a new handphone. Mom offered to
buy a decent handphone of similar price range for me.(RM400-500) But, perhaps I had become a true adult. I turn er down, opting for the cheap Nokia 1100 costing only RM200. I'm becoming practical in a sense, as in money sense. I don't mind using cheap phones, because I only use my handphone to SMS and make calls. So, what else is there for me? A cheap one will do. Maybe people like me might be rare, but I'm not the only one or the last one. At least, it is a good indicator that I am entering manhood.

what it is to be said. I tread with care, as my fingers dance on the keyboard, hoping to find for the inspiration within. Life has not been easy on me, but so it is, for each and every single creature on earth. So, who am I to complain? What else can I fight for? Comparatively, I'm much better than many others, although I may not be the luckiest person on earth. Be grateful for what you have, that will be maxim for today. It's already 3 weeks, and next week will be a formative assessment. In a way, I'm getting used to it. Perhaps it is that I am not the only one threading this path. If everyone is going through the same process, why should I worry then? At least I know that I won't be alone. Live life to its fullest, as I would say.
decision. The fact that I am not that fanatic to enter this course makes me wondering whether I had chosen the right course. Everyone has been asking the same question, to the extent that even some try to persuade me to think it all over again, hoping that I will change my mind in the end. Perhaps they couldn't see my brain, so they thought it wasn't there. That's the irony. Shouldn't we think carefully and make our decision carefully in every matter? Do they mean that if you're going into other proffesion, you don't need to consider carefully? Such irresponsibility does not suit me. And, at last, when I mingle with the peers with the same ambition, I do not feel alone. All of us face the same problems. But at least, as I enter here, things has changed. I got used to the life, and do enjoy it. It may not be glamorous as a doctor, but the interest will be there for life. I am setting a path that I shall be taking for the 40 years at least, provided I finish the course, of course.
But for now, guess I shall be poring over the books again. Time is always valuable, but I tend to misuse it. Uh oh.. The night of damnation shall fall upon me..-.-"