Temptations & Ambitions

The North-South Pole of Males and Females :Attraction has No Options


I’m sure many of you guys readers here would have raise an eyebrow reading this post. My blog is not a blog about double dating girls, or how to get them. But this post is an honorable response to Boss Stewie’s post “Nice Guys Finish Last”. I would start off today’s topic with, “Attraction Has No Options”

I’m sure many of you had observed that ‘nice guys’ could not always get a girl. Most ‘nice guys’, I would say. There is a reason behind it. Perhaps we had been too stuck with the idea from our parents or grandfather’s stories that a woman "SHOULD" feel attracted to a "nice guy". If that is true, I would advise you to start opening your eyes, and take a look around. There are THINGS in life that you probably had missed for your whole life.

1. There are tonnes of average looking guys with average height, average income, but had more success with women than you do. What makes it worse are those shorties and uglies who got model-like girlfriends that most guys envy, to the fact that at the back of your mind, you think that they do not deserve their girlfriends.
2. Females tend NOT to be attracted to “nicest” guys around.
3. Those bad boys that you had been labeling them as fare better with girls than you do. That hurts more. Far far more.
4. No matter how nice you act, it just wouldn’t work.

The truth is, we are humans. We can’t control our brain as precise as we thought we could. We can’t control when are we going to be hungry, we can’t control our joy and despair. So, what else can’t we control?

Of course, it’s the attraction mechanism in our brain. In short, if you are attracted to something, you can’t do anything about it.

And this brings us back to our topic: “Attraction Has No Options”

A girl may tell you that she wants a handsome guy. She wants a rich guy. She wants a guy who speaks perfect English/Chinese. She wants a guy who treats her nicely. So there you go, Mr Nice guys who try to be handsome, rich, good in language and treats the girls nicely. But it still fails. Why? It’s simply because you are just fulfilling her wants, and not make her attracted to you!!

Every girl wants an interesting guy. A guy with confidence. A guy who would stand up to you and tell you that you're wrong (not every time la)A guy who flirts but never came close to obeying you like your house dog.

This is where the bad boys come in. They may have the bad attitude, but hey, we can't blame them. That’s because they have attitude!! Those criteria above has somewhat been fulfilled although they are not nice. Barely pass, but still, a pass.

Compare with the 'nice' guys. No confidence. A Mr. Yes guy who frustrate you because he always say yes, making you feel like talking to a wall. A guy who never say anything bad or interesting other than plain flattery. A guy who sometimes whine and complain in the midst of a soon-to-be interesting date. A guy who obeys you like a lap dog. Oh gosh, you already had one at home, you thought.

So who would have the advantage? I’m sure you know.

In short, attraction isn't a process that happens by "choice." It is not an option.

Females wouldn’t go talking to a man and say to herself "Wow, he seems smart, funny, cool, bla blah... Just the kind of guy I've been looking for. I think I'll start being attracted to him."

Instead, attraction happens at subconscious level. It is an autonomic response of the limbic system. You feel good around that someone because of a somewhat pleasant memory or encounter. So, different people have different emotional responses to certain stimulants or motivation. Of course, for men, attraction usually goes superficial, pretty face and a sexy body. Or the perhaps typical innocent damsel in distress style girl to boost the male ego the size of a black hole. (Although there are some exceptions, like me X’P) For women, it usually happens for other reasons which may not be of physical reasons. (That’s why males get turn on easily by porn while females need more of an emotional stimulants like a simple and sincere “I Love you” at the right time. And that doesn’t mean you go saying “I love you” all the time, my dear guy friends)

Saying this, attraction therefore has its own “logic”. Just don’t be a Mr. Nice Guy beyond reasoning. You don’t drive her around from point A to point B which is very far away when you stay in between point A and B, just for the sake of fetching her. You don’t fetch someone’s purse from SS2 to KLCC where she works, especially when you’re nearby KLCC from the start. It’s just being an idiot with an IQ of 80. (Normal IQ is 100)

Let's just say that use gifts, favors, and romance like a spice... not the main dish.

So, think twice before you do something too irrational. Such relationship won’t last. What she has is just a slave or a driver ‘Ah Mat’. And, please be nice within reason. There’s one piece of advice to all guys out there.

You have to be nice to the girl only if you want to be her “ji mui”. (Sisters)

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