There's this interesting post that I'd read some time back.
Because it's so touchy, I'd rather post it here as well to share with all the readers of my blog. I grabbed this from Joan's blog (n_n"), and finished it with my touch here and there.
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal
car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as calm and simple as a glass of clear water: We had a son, I went into business and tried to earn more money. When the value of our assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning, we left home together and got home around the same time. Our son was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy to others. But, calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. For once again, my heart was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, " You are the kind of man who best draws girls."
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were
just married, my wife had once said to me.
"Men like you, once successful, would be very attractive to
girls."
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had
betrayed my wife. But I couldn't'help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside.
"You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I 've got something to
do in the company."
Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her
to accompany her. At that moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind, although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how subtle I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. She IS. Every evening, she will be busy preparing dinner for us. I will be sitting in front of the TV. The dinner will be ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I will be poring over the computer screen, visualizing Dew's body. This was my means of entertainment.
One day I asked her in a slight joking manner, suppose we
divorce, what will she do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently, she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she get to know that I am serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff gave my wife a sympathetic look and tried to hide it while talking with her. She seemed to have gotten some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But looking at her eyes, I knew that she is very hurt, deep down inside. Once again, Dew confronted me again regarding this matter.
"Divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together."
I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my
wife served the last dish, I held her hand.
"I've got something to tell you, I said."
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her
eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
"I want a divorce."
I raised the serious topic calmly.She didn't t seem to be much
annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
"I'm serious."
I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me.
"YOU ARE NOT A MAN!!!"
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I
knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally, she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of relieve. The idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer.
One late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients.
I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found her still there. I turned over and was sound asleep again. The Next morning, she brought up her divorce conditions: She didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and during that period, we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and asked me a question I had never expected.
"Do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the
wedding day?"
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful
memories to me. I just stood there in silence, and nodded.
"You carried me in your arms on that day. So, I have a request,
that is, you have to carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now until the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and
wished to end her marriage in a romantic way. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was simply absurd.
"No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of
divorce."
Dew's scornful remarks more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was expressed to the extent of treating each other as strangers. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped gladly behind us.
"Yay!! Daddy is holding mummy in his arms!"
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and whispered in my ears.
"Let us start from today, don't tell our son, k?"
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the
door. She went to wait for the bus, while I drove to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much easier. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I had not looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I realised that she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered in my ears again.
"The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you
pass there,k?"
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel as if we
were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became more vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me about the house chores, such as where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry my wife by now. Perhaps, the everyday workout had made me stronger. I told her, it seems not difficult to carry her now. She was picking her dresses while I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she heaved a sigh.
"All my dresses have grown fatter."
I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was
thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously, I reached out a hand to stroke her head. Our son came in at the moment.
"Daddy, it's time to carry mummy out."
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an
essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid, afraid of changing my mind at the last moment. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hands were put around my neck gently and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we were back on our wedding day. But her much lighter weight had made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move
a step. Our son had gone to school. She looked at me.
"Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."
I could only looked at her pair of watery eyes, before I could
utter to her.
"Both you and me didn't notice that our life had lack of such
intimacy."
Rushing to Dew's apartment, I jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afraid that any delay would make me change my decision. I ran upstairs. Dew opened the door and was glad that I was there. I caught my breath, before continuing.
"Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead.
"You got no fever"
I moved her hand off my head.
"Sorry, Dew, I can only say sorry to you. I won't divorce. My
marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her till death do us apart. So I have to say sorry to you."
Dew seemed to wake up suddenly. She gave me a loud slap and
slammed the door before bursting into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife, which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write on the greeting card. I smiled and wrote what was in my thought at that moment, for now, and forever.
"I 'll carry you out every morning till death do us apart."
Sometimes, we are so comfortable living in the love showered
by our love ones that we take things for granted. It takes a true heart to give and sacrifice, so treasure it and never destroy it.
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