Temptations & Ambitions

I was really amused when a post of rodents from Kean had draw lots of attention from rats lover. Such a fact that they had to argue on how to kill a rat by all means. To me, the end justify its means. Would it really matter how is a rat killed if you are going to kill it anyway. So, here's a brief rundown of the top 5 recommended methods preferred to kill rats.


Rat Poison: As effective as it seems, it has basically diminished effect on urban rodents for they are smarter than any dimwit against animal cruelty. Their survival instincts are much stronger than any human, and given ample time, they might even mass produced Ratatouille potentials before you can even blink your eyes. Forget Ridpest or any of their sweet talk on their efficacy. You'd rather treat yourself with a hot plate of Nasi Lemak with an extra fried chicken.

Drowning: As opposed to ancient rat species, there's quite a number of rat swimmers surfacing in the underworld, perhaps somewhat spawned from Splinter, the master of Ninja Turtles. They had mastered the art of swimming enough to beat a casual swimmer in an Olympic pool, not to mention the fact that they would be infesting the whole pool of water with thir friendly germs if it wasn't for the chlorine water. So how would you expect to drown a rat without being infected?

Besides the point, a drowning experience is like no other, for our brain would try by all means to avoid such suffocation. The lungs would be filled with excruciating sharp pain and the breath taken away in a minute or two, but the brain is yet still very alive for another 20 minutes or so, which meant that while you are tugging the rat into the dumps, it may still be alive, conscious of your doings, perhaps given ample time, may curse you to etenal damnation.

Snap Traps: Seen in most cartoon such as Tom and Jerry, this is a preferred method in the olden days in the time when peasants roam the lands. This is mainly suitable for outdoors where sterilizing can be done easily without blood splattering across your favourite piece of Fratelli Berto couch or maggots invasion before you could notice it the day after of even some dramatic cases when the foul stench fill the air. Unless you put it in front of the rat hole, I doubt that all rats would fall for it, since Charles Darwin theory of natural selection would still holds, and those survivors would be smart enough to hold their ground. Besides, there is no guarantee that the rats would be killed as some may manage to escape with a missing limb or two, prolonging their suffering as long as it takes to breed a new army to announce a hostile takeover of your house.

Cats for..Rats..: Contrary to popular beliefs, cats does not eat mice or even rats. Although treated as mortal nemesis, the cats hunt rodents for pleasure, a hunting game valued by cats in the wild. Try putting your favourite pampered Persian cat to a rat, and there is quite a possibility that you would see the rat chasing after your pet cat. Believe you me, not all cats are capable of rat-hunting after staying in the comfort of human love. Even if they do catch one, remember to dispose the rat quickly, for your cat may be bringing the dead rat up and down your house, and it is undesirably for many to have bits of rat flesh or blood stains over the house. And for those keeping the cat outside the house, it defeats the purpose for the cat is out and the rat wrecks naught.

Boiling: There is in fact, two types of misinterpreted boiling terms, where one boils the rat in your cooking pot just like how the witch would boil Hansel and Greetel, and the other by pouring steamy hot boiling water on the rat, just like any mee-in-a-cup would do. While the latter is a proper manner to dispose the rat by killing the germs, it could inflict burning pain to the rat. It may be cruel, but might be necessary for the greater good. It might be just a rat being a rat, but all we are reminded is that we are being human too, so there is no guilt involved to be going that path. Others may object, but it is of their own opinions and shall not be imposed on others, just like any religion.

But if for whatever reasons (perhaps inflation due to the government's policy) you choose to boil it in your cooking pot, you might as well microwave it, or even grilled it with some seasonings, which may be absurd for they are no free food due to hygienic and food safety reasons.


Conclusion: Now, as I've said, there is no best method involved in killing rodents, for whatever you've done, it's still murder. Just as in humans, drowning a person does not make you less guilty than boiling them or killing them with poison. It is still murder.

Even if you released the rats few blocks away, look at it this way. You are inflicting harm to the people in that area and may spread the disease there. Indirect it may seem, but you've just cause some deaths the moment you release them away to multiply in a jolly good fashion. Whatever it is, life is a neverending cycle with actions and consequences, foreseen and unforeseen. Whatever we do, life goes on, so dispose your rat quickly, so that they could proceed to afterlife or a better reincarnation if you believe in them.