Temptations & Ambitions

I've been living in the heart of KL for my whole 23 years all this while. I should have known the liar game inside out all this while. But sometimes, I proved myself human. I fell for the smallest tricks at times, when I begin to give the benefit of the doubt. To what extent? I thought I should let down my guard and to start to accept. But all I knew was sometimes, human are fallible creatures. The gullible side in every human would always coexist with their "innocence", as day and night would. So, why am I still so liable to believe such things at times?

Perhaps, it is the feel good factor, not to question, but to have faith in your friends. It is always tempting to believe each and every single word from pleasant looking strangers. It is always better to believe that a friend who pretended to be sick, rather than trying to question the motive of last minute ditching in the mind. And it is easy to believe a friend who claimed to be a genius and rich, to be rejected from an organization just because he/she was overqualified or due to reasons such as racism. It is easier to believe the claim of a housemate that he got 3.71 for his CGPA, when he had only 3.20, going great lengths to lie for the sake of nothing but a pinch of self-satisfaction.

And yet, these malingering happens all the time. Well, on one side, one would felt anger. But on the other side, they claimed that they had done no harm. However it may seem, if we look from a perspective, no one really does something for the sake of harming someone else. Each and every one of us, in our lifetime, did some harm to someone else, because of our selfishness and for self-perseverance. Hypocrites we are, but Hippocrates we aren't.

Politicians never tried to ruin the country on purpose, all they did was for their own benefits, in monetary gains, fame, and power. The same goes for the government as well as the opposition. The welfare of the citizens? They might be there, but it could be the 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th, or the last priority to the sake of non-existence. Pastors preach for they love God and wanted to be loved by God. And all religions preach the benefit for doing good for the sake of heaven. Wouldn't that be a form of materialistic gain? Can't we just help the others because we wanted to? Or arguably by some psychologists, we do good so that we would feel good, which could also be a motive in the first place. To what extent, I do not wish to explore, but all I can say that, it all lies in the gray area. Faith and lies would stay as in Yin and Yang, never to overpower each other.

The liar game, is after all, a test of faith. What is faith if there are no liars?
And what's a lie if there's no faith?

It's been almost a year since I last set foot in the 18-operating theatre center of UKMMC. It was during Surgery posting last year. Nothing much of a memorabilia in a place where there's everything and you gain nothing most of the time. But this time, I set my foot again, as a 4th year medical student. ENT posting.

And it was eight in the evening.

The on-call doctor had called us to look at an emergency tracheostomy(creating an external opening at the throat to ease breathing) under local anesthesia, a rare case when usually it's being done under general anesthesia. So there we were, our group standing in the OT, with soft music in the background. At least not some hard rock music preferred by some surgeons.

The old patient was anxious, but he soon calmed down after attempts to put him down on the "stage". His laryngeal cancer grwoth was too large that it almost obstruct the whole airway. Being too old, he can't stand GA for too long, so it was reserved for the later biopsy procedure.

The cold air in the OT invoke some nostalgia. Partially Surgery, partially O&G. Was it that long ago? I'd remember that I understand nothing of surgery, being a clown bystander most of the time in hope for a signature. At least this time, I get to understand how it's being done. Surprisingly, the "cutthroat" was not that grueling as it seems. At least not like those cricothyroidectomy done in the movies which looked dramatic and the impending threat of death loomed. Done proper, it finished in no time. The environment began to stir some feelings of the past.

Once I'd thought of being an ENT specialist. Well, perhaps that was one of the many reasons that tipped me in here. My own conditions which had not improved after a long time made me even more determined to find the answer myself instead of being conned by those private ENT docs. Now that I'm here, I'm beginning to seek for the anwers that I had been looking for. Allergic rhinitis, laryngopharyngeal reflux, chronic cough, nasal septal deviation, polyps, some minor obstructive sleep apnea, lack of focus most of the time, mood swings faster than PMS at times, they all fell into pieces. What there may be missing some pieces of the puzzles, at least I got the general picture.

The X-files are not that "X" anymore.

The interest in ENT would grow better if not for the rush of a short posting, and what now lies ahead is a long journey. Would I really want to be an ENT specialist? The thought lingers, but the pre-requisite of a being a Surgeon prior to that is not a welcoming thought. Isn't there an Internal Medicine masters instead? Or dermatologist? One thing for sure, the future is undetermined, and who knows, I might not even be in this field after a long practice? Again and again, only time shall tell.

A year ago, McD jacked up their menu prices. There were many complaints about it, coupled with the diminishing services and deteriorating food quality. Being a rather frequent customer especially when Wahid Cafe became dog food, I was one of the many who e-mailed to McD, and they had turned a deaf ear on it.

Nothing was been done, for Burger King, their once strongest competitor had now been nothing more of a shrimp. I remember the last time McD lowered their prices was not long when Burger King hit the market with style, threatening to displace McD out of the Malaysian food ecosystem. So, there was nothing much that can be done for this.

But now, everything's not the same anymore. The price increase turn down many potential customers, and the rumored McD supporting Israel had caused an uproar that everyone loves to see: Pushing the price further down. I wouldn't know if it's true of the support, but I am sure grateful for the action. A national boycott is what it takes to push the price down, a move really welcomed by McD's customers. Instead of having once every month due to the expensive tag, we had twice a week at a slightly cheaper bill. How's that going to sound?

Well, some may argue that it is affordable even at a skyrocketing price, but please look at the whole picture of affordability. Plus, you may not even be the one earning to pay for it. Not that it matters, you can even bring your own tupperware or your reusable McD wrappers and paper bags for takeaways if that pleases you to leave lesser carbon footprint, but McD ain't gonna bother about it.

Now that the McValue lunch promotion is running so smoothly, nothing can stop the customers from coming back, unless there's a new McD pandemic H1N1 flu. The success of it had made McD extending their promotions from only 4 basic meals at RM5.95 on weekdays to extended higher range menu at discounted prices available Large Add-on even on weekends. That means everyday!

Of course, nothing would stop us from having McD when we had the time. McD is the most convenient fastfood where there's 7 spots I've frequented, particularly when McD is "active" along MRR2. Even in ENT posting.

Now, how's that? McD meal is fully inspected. Safe and clean.. :P

How bout you?

I thought Med School is supposed to turn our hands into healing hands. I thought cadaver was the last dead thing we had to touch.

But I guess the movie Pathology might have been inspired by the Forensic Pathology posting. Cadaver was one thing, fresh bodies is another. Cadaver feels fake afterall. But fresh bodies? I had no idea. I wonder how many would just faint at the sight. I wonder if I would be one of them.

Surgeries are just incisions, but post-mortem felt more like decapitation and mince meat. And I wonder if it would be something like this below:

Holidays had been non-productive in a sense, but still managed to grab a whole lot of my time. So here's some updates of at least what I have done some purposeful stuff in my life:







11.Su Yan gobbling the sushi all by herself on Sushi King Bonanza.On Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

16.And the paper waste left by just 1 senior in a matter of a year or two. Imagine how much paper thrash we produce every year. Perhaps he might have thought it might be useful for us, and left it there, but we'd decided otherwise and sent it to the recycle pile. Save the environment.


17. 1st day in ENT, and the scary tools for you ears, nose and throat. Even the circus' sword eater might freak out at the sight of this.