Temptations & Ambitions

It was recently when I was listening to Red.FM, of them going through the memory lane of the yesteryears. The hottest movies at that time, the music and bands, the "current" fad, and whatsoever that brings the very least reminiscence, reminding us of those "Oh, that was the year indeed".

I had prepared a long list, but as time stood by, I'd slashed most of it, and jotted down events which are most memorable in a way (or sort of)


The World:

The Y2K millennium. Contrary to popular belief, we were still alive. No end-of-days hoohaa from superstitious believers of trashcan cults. Well, some managed to cause mass suicides, but I guess it's better off that way. The Earth would be filled with not so many deluded people. And that'll be thumbs up for the environmentalists. Less people producing carbon.


My Life:

I had my 1st Gameboy Color at the age of 14. It was my birthday request. The Pokemon craze was dwindling, and I was the very few who got hooked at this time. Late bloomer indeed. This was also the year I got caught for playing computer games 4am in the morning one fine day, after maybe more than 100 times of doing it. Of course, I lied, and said that it was my first few times. :P

2001
The World:
George W Bush was elected as the US President. While Obama's campaign was all about "Change", George W Bush's campaign was all about "Charge" (ala military style). It didn't go well, and his popularity was dwindling to practically none. Until he decided to bribe Osama, his best friend in Middle East to set up the Sept 11 incident. The fall of the US World Trade Center twin towers and a few more foiled/ failed terrorist attacks. Well, no one really knows if it's really a conspiracy, but from there, he rallied the citizens of the America for an anti-terrorism counterattack, which is the only thing he knew best as a cowboy (or rather cow boy). The emotion-filled citizens of US were fooled to agree for a full scaled war against the so-called terrorism, and George W Bush had his way for the greater ambition of world domination. Or so he thought.


My Life:

Got my first and last A for Arts. Practised hard on it and even studied the theory. With that, managed to wipe the smirk of a classmate's face who had always boasted for his ability in Art. As we had similar grades for the other subjects and Arts was the last to be announced, he declared a victory and parade around the class. Well, I'd pipped him and he was all aghast. Not that I cared bout position, but his snob for an early insult? Too bad, I had the last laugh.


Oh yes, this was also the first year I had a crush. Not exactly the first, but one that would also have a crush on me as well. Well, it didn't materialize, because I was far too shy (You sure?) and I knew it wouldn't work. Well, she's now a part-time model I presumed, being part of the roadshow girls, but we never really chat anymore. The one last thing I did was to scare her by knowing too much, and I guess I was thought of as a stalker. Lesson #1: Never be a stalker! 



2002

The World:
Finally a full fledged attack on Afghanistan. Against those potato buns, sweet buns and hot cross buns. (Talibans, to be exact) The war on "terrorism" seem more like a war of definite victory. Little did they know that the victory was short-lived while the agony was eternity.


My Life:

My first fight in secondary school. Somehow caused a new teacher to walk out of class with tears (without raising my voice or act of violence). It was a misunderstanding, and I'd apologized later. A classmate wanted to act hero and gave me a slap. I gave him a bloody tooth as a gift of love in return. Oh well, the scuffle resolved but that had teach him a lesson not to mess with the so-called "nerdy students". I wasn't one of those easily to be bullied in the 1st place.

And subsequently, I was the Tokoh Moral(Role model student in Morality) in the same year. How ironic. :P

This was also the year I'd scored my 1st (and last) goal in interclass soccer tourney. We were trashed throughout the 5 matches by 20+ goals, and I scored one out of the 3 goals by our team in total. Lol!


2003
The World:
Nothing in peculiar, but it was the start of the invasion by US on Iraq. A vendetta by George W Bush on Saddam Hussein, because the latter commented how he was still reigning while George Bush (senior) had already retired. It all bogged down on ego, and US showed their dumb fool supremacy of veto in the UN. Terrorism has taken on a new meaning. The country of power striking terror on other country, laying claims of peacebringer while all they did was no better than pirates, pillaging and laying down massacres. Irony was that each American soldier killed was mourned with a sense of extremely great loss while the innocent Iraqian civillians who died in the war were deemed useless.

My Life:
This was the year I had really started on a relationship.
Duration of courtship: 1 month
Start of relationship: 1 month before SPM exams
Signs of Relationship going haywire: Just before SPM exams
Total Duration: 3 months 12 days
The Experience of a Relationship: Heartless

Oh well, just like any puppy love, this one ended on a low note. But this was a well-learned experience such that to avoid the very same mistake again.

2004
The World:
Or rather Malaysia. General election again, with the then Prime Minister stood up to the challenge by being a clean and honest man. Of course, the reason why he was clean was because he wasn't given a share of the pie. It was the usual landslide victory when a new Prime Minister takes over the office. And not to forget the usual hooligans of paranoia-filled PAS supporters stopping every single bus travelling in and out of Kelantan and Terengganu. Buses ferrying NS trainees were halted by the road, with the hooligans threatening to beat up the trainees, refusing the explanation and demand to confiscate the trainees identity cards. Sore losers, indeed. Perhaps that's the way in Malaysia. The winners celebrated justice while the losers cry foul-play. It happens most of the time, regardless of parties.

My Life:
I had my license to kill drive. Caused a few scratches on both my parents' cars trying to squeeze out of the mosque area on a Friday noon. Now that's what I called leaving my mark.

This was the 1st year National Service was introduced in Malaysia. It was more akin to summer camp. I was unfortunately fortunately selected into the program (supposedly randomly picked, but I'd suspected that it was foulplay selection by the principal.) Met quite a number of friends there, and enjoyed the time spent in the Agrocamp in Setiu, Terengganu.

I am right.

"I am always right."

"I am right because I have money, and you work for money."

"I am right because I look so good-looking in front of the mirror while you look ugly on a puddle of rainwater."


"Or perhaps, I am right because I am smarter with a string of A's while all you have is a G-string."

And that, is what I call "confidence".

Many a times, most of us are confused of being deluded and being confident. But one can't blame them, because regardless of you being confident or deluded, you still know what you want and you strongly believe in it. It's such a thin fine line that differentiates both, thus it is always a retrospective thing.

If you succeed, you're confident. If you failed, you're deluded.
If you succeed, you're determined. If you failed, you're just stubborn.
If you succeed, you have a vision. If you failed, you're just daydreaming.

I think you'll get what I mean. That's just how simple life is. The winner dictates history while the losers sing poems.

So, the question is, what is "confidence" really? Is it a wise men thing or just an accumulation of previous success? The more you practice, you are bound to succeed at least once, thus there goes the confidence-building act. However, most of the time, we wouldn't know what was the "right thing" that made us succeed.

If we knew it, we would follow it devotedly and hope that it'll succeed the next time.

However, more often than not, we wrongly follow the same rituals, or even worse, perpetuate them to others, fortifying your beliefs (although they may not work for others) and building a stronghold of "fans" so that we'll feel good. The very same error boosts our ego, for no one rectifies us, either because we(or you) are too rich, too powerful, too educated, too good-looking (or too bald) or too few true friends.

But that is how sad life can be. There is in fact, nothing that dictates absoluteness in life. But yet, we would prefer to point fingers at others, or pretend that we are the wise ones, for we fear that we would be left in the dark. And such confidence somehow gave authority to those who have confidence, just because the others are too afraid to be on a different boat to be in the "unwise", akin the story in The Emperor's New Clothes. And there are of course, many scenarios leading to such disillusioned ones. Here are a number of encrypted scenarios for us to ponder.

1. A person who goes to temple twice a day and excel in studies will go to pray everyday, and his children will do the same as well.

2. A person who went abroad will have authority of the world's perspective, because he went abroad and had "soaked in salt water". And yet, I would presume my previous quote of "A donkey who went abroad will not return a horse."

3. A layman who had been humble and polite can metamorph into someone snobbish and rude once he is given a tie. And this lead to the saying "Never give a tie to such person."

4. A rich businessman confidently blames the corrupted system which got him rich in the first place. And blamed it for not making him richer. And the poor resents the system not because for the greater good, but because they could not benefit from the corruption.

5. A good-looking person can be deluded and thinks everyone should adore him and confess it. "Oh, I love your looks! You're great!" and anyone who thinks otherwise should be prosecuted, in the maximum security prison at the very least.

6. And lastly, a confident golfer will always play more than the designated 18 holes. That is of course, before he was being chased out of the house with a driver.

So, what really builds confidence? Power? Fame? Money? Looks? Education?

I'm not here to dictate what is your path, and none shall dictate mine either. But of course, this post is not meant to feed you with any tips, but in hope that you readers would ponder and think for yourself, if any of us are really confident, or are we just as deluded as men (or women) can be?

Besides, does confidence necessarily brings happiness?

P.S: If you think my description is confusing, here's something as equally (if not more or less) confusing definition from Wikipedia.

Somehow, there has been lack of updates here. I'll make sure to compensate with pictures. :P

Well, for the sake of presentation (food nutrition topic), Wan did bought some baby food for this "show and tell" session. I'm not sure if it's really for the show and tell or it IS really his staple food. From jams to juices, biscuits, etc..

If anyone asked where was I missing, I'd tell you I was hiding in Facebook Games. Mousehunt and Ghost Trappers. Or perhaps scheming for some world domination behind closed doors. No, I didn't. Serious. I was all innocent throughout my holidays. So my holidays started a week ago. And here's some updates, as usual, letting the pics doing the talk:

1. Went to Kaki Corner for dinner. Yeah, the place with big juices and steak.










4. Got the early bird prize for B.Liv tagline search contest. Hamper worth RM200 of products. It's not exactly the morning glory guys get even before they wake up. Just the early submission for the contest itself. Being an early bird, I went to Nuffnang office the next day(Last Thursday) early in the morning at 10am to be one of the first few who took the prize. That's what I call an early bird. WTF!!!!

Actually, it's just because Friday was a public holiday and now I won't be free to take it. Since I was fetching Stella in the morning, I thought I would drop by the office first. And the Nuffnang office is way too cool! Much bigger and spacious than few years back.