Temptations & Ambitions

2010 came in a BANG!! With such a blastoff into the new year, one barely remembers what happened last year. A new year, a new beginning. Was there something to worry about last year? Scrape that away from your 2010 checklist and it's going to be a "reset" of resolution. So there goes the resolution to lose weight (AGAIN) for the godzilliath time. You may be heavier than last year but you still remain optimistic. That's what new year resolution are for. They are there to be broken, so that you can lament it at the end of the year, and besides,  you wouldn't need to think of a new resolution! Convenient, isn't it?


With the arrival of 2010, the year where the in-trend of calling twenty-ten is here! There's no more two-thousand-and... or two-O-O-.... Just plain twenty-ten!And here I am officiating it with the first post of the year! I mean, 3 days later. :P


So, what's in store for year 2010? It's the year of the Tiger! Not exactly, but it's somewhere there, as Chinese New Year starts in early February. Fyi, that would be after my end sem exams, signifying the end of my 4th year in Mad Med School(provided I passed). It feels kinda funny to be a final year student, the "pinnacle" of the course, and yet, it felt so long a journey when your friends are all earning their cash while I, or most of us in Med school, are still parasites, whether from parents, or government loans and scholarships. But that'll be another story altogether.


The year of the Tiger means I'm 24, and it's my reigning year! It has always been a dream of mine to have a Tiger baby, a child with the same animal zodiac as mine. But oh well, if and only if I could get one. med school is kind of cruel, as they wouldn't allow students to be pregnant while pursuing their undergraduate. Or we'll have to take a break for a year or two. I doubt that'll be applicable in UKM. Anyway, if they allow that, I'll be the first to volunteer to be pregnant! :P





Closer to the year 2010, should I proceed to final year, I can see what's in store for me. A real hectic life it may seem. Or is it just a nihilism from the Year 5's? Anyway, I'll have to cross fingers, and my staple food would be akin those in the refugee camps.





Anyhow, I'll make do with what I have. Optimism is what keeps everyone going. So, here's my resolution for the year to end this post.

1. Maintain my weight as it is, I'm realistic of course, and perhaps lose a couple of kg if manageable (I doubt so)
2. Sail through the course with no major obstacles, and more hardworking (I'm starting to slack though)
   
3. Watch more movies as means of entertainment, and wish upon the star that TGV would be in Wangsa Walk Mall very very soon!
4. Blogging quota of at least 50 posts this year, with target of 100 in the year, same as last year.
5. Be more assertive in my approach to people, and to control my temper.
6. To cure my occasional depressive symptoms over the long run
7. To maintain a balance between Facebook and life. Can't seem to sound enough horns it would seem. :P
8. To spend more time with my dear, after so much neglect due to FB games addiction.
9. To sleep at a more regular hours, and proper rest to lengthen my lifespan.
10. To live past 2010, which means safety lifestyle. Some may say it's boring, but I rather had a long, peaceful and enjoyable life rather than daredevil adventures which would shorten your lifespan. :P
11. To think of a better resolution next year. I suck at it, because I don't think I really had any determined resolution. It's mostly things achievable by normal means. Wait till my resolution keeps me walking on water, nay? 

I reckoned I'll need to finish this before New Year arrives, otherwise I'll need to include the 2010 event. I'm not sure why, but some certain readers really love juicy stories from my life. Maybe that's the stemming interest and the reason why personal blogs exist. Nothing but personal stuff. Well, I have no obscene gay stories like Robb Chew, but I'll continue anyway.

And a bit more on 2004:
I had my first car in 2004. A 2nd hand car, my green Proton Iswara. This prancing horse of mine had served its purpose very well, and I'm still driving it once in a while. :)



The World:
A second's worth of time was added unknowingly to the year 2005 by International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service. Yes, one second, the "leap second" they named it. Or so they thought. I'd say it was the delay in response time by that chap, with a one-button remote with the "New Year" label on it. As you can see, New Year eve celebration goes hand in hand with booze, and it's just a cover up. I guess most people would have felt that the last second before the arrival of 2006 seemed longer before the fireworks were launched. Serious, you weren't just imagining things. It did happened! :P

My Life:
Basically, there wasn't anything much special here. But it was all a peaceful life. Studies, societies, and beauties. It was also the year of my second relationship. Had some sweet moments, some bad, but it was in the end, the incompatibility cultured by different backgrounds which forced a split. No more exciting rollercoaster relationship like my 1st one. Too much "excitement" can be bad for the heart, but this time round, I think I was the villain. It took 6 months to think over it and to gut out the courage to say what was in the heart. FML.

On the bright side, I've known quite some places in Cheras (that was what Wai Sun mentioned). I thought I had to rethink what was the flavor of my heart really was. 


2006
The World:
Da Vinci shook the world theatres with his Code. Well, Dan Brown's novel was translated into motion pictures, and a picture speaks a thousand words, what else of a motion picture with dialogues more than a thousand words? It was almost banned because the fiction was taken too seriously by certain groups of people, thinking that exposure to such elements would breed religious contempt. It's akin to staying at home because the world outside harbors disasters, accidents and crimes. What a way to return to the Dark Age prior to Renaissance.


My Life:
I had my very 1st official part time job in Pizza Hut, Wangsa Maju. It was all for the fun of it.The meager pay of RM3 per hour was the most tiring job of 10-14 hours a day, reaching home at 2-3am at times. But I'd learned more than books can teach, or any standing by the "Sales" banner job or camping in the office could bring. I did learn about teamwork, tolerance, discipline, and some common sense. And also that doing your best won't last. It's all about sustaining the boost over a long period of time, akin to running a 50km run rather than a 100m burst. My first pay check was barely RM500. or was it RM400. It was a long time ago..



Since this was the year I truly had a long holiday (Post-SPM was filled with National Service camp), I had went for a trip to South Korea with my family. Well, there's no meeting Son Ye Jin, Kim Tae Hee, or so, but oh well, it's a trip filled with nothing much. What I remembered was I was snow skiing for the very 1st time, with the snow (articial and natural snow mixed at ratio 1:1) so fine like our Malaysia's Ais Kacang. That was the time I wished I had brough some syrup and ingredients for this Ais Kacang buffet! :P


Taman Negara was also fun. I had organized it after being pushed to the job. The nature and scenery was nice, and what was the toughest lot would be Gua Telinga, the cave with slippery rocks as the outsole of my shoes were done in.

And we even visited our MUET teacher in PJ as a class trip. She retired in mid-2005, but we'll still remember her. Lost my phone and lost her contact after that. -.-"

On this year, I entered MAD Med School. Staying out of the house when the campus is so near was almost ridiculous. But I had to have a feel of the campus life. then again, it was a devolving one, with the need to wear collared shirt, long pants up to the cumbersome "no jeans" initially. It felt like a backward campus indeed.


This was the year I parked my car by the lot just by the main road in Chow Kit, and my bag was stolen from by car without having the alarm being set off. Professional thieves, but though it may seem like a laptop inside it, there were only medical books. The thieve must be cursing "FML" when he had found out much later. And I had to rebuy the books, costing around RM300 in total.

2007
The World:

Back to Malaysia again. Eye on Malaysia was built in Titiwangsa. For just Rm15 per person, you might get to see Malaysia. Well it is nothing but just trees and lake in Titiwangsa that you can see as the Istana Budaya and National Library blocked most of the view a nice scenery indeed. Whether if it is worth the money, is another question altogether.

This was also the year our Malaysia's very own space tourist astronaut flew to the space to eat nasi lemak and roti canai while drinking teh tarik in space do some research. It's funny how Malaysia insisted that he is not just a mere space tourist but an astronaut, and at the same time, Malaysia labelled China's spaceman a space tourist as well for doing something similar.

My Life:

Went to Taiwan for some medical student conference (EAMSC 2007), and the experience was a fun one. (You just need to go for it once) Being there helps to realize that Malaysian food is much better, and even paid RM30 equivalent to the 101 tower in Taipei which looked almost exactly like KL tower interiorly. It costs just RM8 in Malaysia. Taipei was Taiwan's version of "The city that never sleeps". How true was it? 101 Tower's lighting goes off at 10pm and most shops are closed by then. How nice, compared to KL with lots of 24 hours kiosk, or Mamak stalls opening till 3-4am at the very least.And the best souvenir I had was the Taiwan flu bug, which caused me to fall ill for almost 2 weeks, and recovery took more days beyond that.

2008
The World:
The Olympics in Beijing 2008. As usual, China has shown in prowess by its population. Manpower were greatly used in their somewhat unspectacular performance. It's just the numbers that made up the "awesomeness" atmosphere. Otherwise, it's just like any other plain event without creativity. And the miming performance of the girl who was thought to sing so well in the opening ceremony. The actual girl who sang it was denied an entrance to the world because she was deemed "not pretty enough with some teeth defect". How ironic.

The World:
Obama took over US by the storm of "Change". Feeling moved by his spirit, I relentingly changed my undies, for the sake of change. Carrying the spirit and emotion of Change, it is now a matter of time to see if it was Obama or the US system who will prevail and triumph. Obama had managed to sway the US citizens with his promises of "Change" without a real plan in his hands. Such is the power to manipulate emotion that the mind can be swayed with promises and charisma. Now, he stood against time to prove whether he would manage to keep to his words and be one of the best president in US, or crumple to bits and pieces to only be remembered as the 1st black US president. Such was the controversy and discrimination in US that some officials in the White House trying to delay his entry into the White House because Obama might turn it into a Black House.

My Life:
Nothing much to remember as I had post-study amnesia. But here goes nothing...

Flora came back from Europe, finally. I wouldn't say Scotland, because she wasn't there for most of the time, nomading from London to Belgium. She came back for my birthday, and Wei Yee's as well. It'll be until God-knows-when the next time she comes back.



And to my dear, this is what I wanna say to you. I love you, and I promise you a 23-carat diamond ring and a 178 cm guy. What do you want for the future?

Looking at my above statement, many would have guessed that my dear is next to me goading me into such details. It's an indicator that the I'm too long with the computer than with her, so I'll end this as the last post of the year, at 99. I had planned for a 100-posts target, but I think 99 will be fine, a symbolic for eternity. So, here I wish you readers :

It was recently when I was listening to Red.FM, of them going through the memory lane of the yesteryears. The hottest movies at that time, the music and bands, the "current" fad, and whatsoever that brings the very least reminiscence, reminding us of those "Oh, that was the year indeed".

I had prepared a long list, but as time stood by, I'd slashed most of it, and jotted down events which are most memorable in a way (or sort of)


The World:

The Y2K millennium. Contrary to popular belief, we were still alive. No end-of-days hoohaa from superstitious believers of trashcan cults. Well, some managed to cause mass suicides, but I guess it's better off that way. The Earth would be filled with not so many deluded people. And that'll be thumbs up for the environmentalists. Less people producing carbon.


My Life:

I had my 1st Gameboy Color at the age of 14. It was my birthday request. The Pokemon craze was dwindling, and I was the very few who got hooked at this time. Late bloomer indeed. This was also the year I got caught for playing computer games 4am in the morning one fine day, after maybe more than 100 times of doing it. Of course, I lied, and said that it was my first few times. :P

2001
The World:
George W Bush was elected as the US President. While Obama's campaign was all about "Change", George W Bush's campaign was all about "Charge" (ala military style). It didn't go well, and his popularity was dwindling to practically none. Until he decided to bribe Osama, his best friend in Middle East to set up the Sept 11 incident. The fall of the US World Trade Center twin towers and a few more foiled/ failed terrorist attacks. Well, no one really knows if it's really a conspiracy, but from there, he rallied the citizens of the America for an anti-terrorism counterattack, which is the only thing he knew best as a cowboy (or rather cow boy). The emotion-filled citizens of US were fooled to agree for a full scaled war against the so-called terrorism, and George W Bush had his way for the greater ambition of world domination. Or so he thought.


My Life:

Got my first and last A for Arts. Practised hard on it and even studied the theory. With that, managed to wipe the smirk of a classmate's face who had always boasted for his ability in Art. As we had similar grades for the other subjects and Arts was the last to be announced, he declared a victory and parade around the class. Well, I'd pipped him and he was all aghast. Not that I cared bout position, but his snob for an early insult? Too bad, I had the last laugh.


Oh yes, this was also the first year I had a crush. Not exactly the first, but one that would also have a crush on me as well. Well, it didn't materialize, because I was far too shy (You sure?) and I knew it wouldn't work. Well, she's now a part-time model I presumed, being part of the roadshow girls, but we never really chat anymore. The one last thing I did was to scare her by knowing too much, and I guess I was thought of as a stalker. Lesson #1: Never be a stalker! 



2002

The World:
Finally a full fledged attack on Afghanistan. Against those potato buns, sweet buns and hot cross buns. (Talibans, to be exact) The war on "terrorism" seem more like a war of definite victory. Little did they know that the victory was short-lived while the agony was eternity.


My Life:

My first fight in secondary school. Somehow caused a new teacher to walk out of class with tears (without raising my voice or act of violence). It was a misunderstanding, and I'd apologized later. A classmate wanted to act hero and gave me a slap. I gave him a bloody tooth as a gift of love in return. Oh well, the scuffle resolved but that had teach him a lesson not to mess with the so-called "nerdy students". I wasn't one of those easily to be bullied in the 1st place.

And subsequently, I was the Tokoh Moral(Role model student in Morality) in the same year. How ironic. :P

This was also the year I'd scored my 1st (and last) goal in interclass soccer tourney. We were trashed throughout the 5 matches by 20+ goals, and I scored one out of the 3 goals by our team in total. Lol!


2003
The World:
Nothing in peculiar, but it was the start of the invasion by US on Iraq. A vendetta by George W Bush on Saddam Hussein, because the latter commented how he was still reigning while George Bush (senior) had already retired. It all bogged down on ego, and US showed their dumb fool supremacy of veto in the UN. Terrorism has taken on a new meaning. The country of power striking terror on other country, laying claims of peacebringer while all they did was no better than pirates, pillaging and laying down massacres. Irony was that each American soldier killed was mourned with a sense of extremely great loss while the innocent Iraqian civillians who died in the war were deemed useless.

My Life:
This was the year I had really started on a relationship.
Duration of courtship: 1 month
Start of relationship: 1 month before SPM exams
Signs of Relationship going haywire: Just before SPM exams
Total Duration: 3 months 12 days
The Experience of a Relationship: Heartless

Oh well, just like any puppy love, this one ended on a low note. But this was a well-learned experience such that to avoid the very same mistake again.

2004
The World:
Or rather Malaysia. General election again, with the then Prime Minister stood up to the challenge by being a clean and honest man. Of course, the reason why he was clean was because he wasn't given a share of the pie. It was the usual landslide victory when a new Prime Minister takes over the office. And not to forget the usual hooligans of paranoia-filled PAS supporters stopping every single bus travelling in and out of Kelantan and Terengganu. Buses ferrying NS trainees were halted by the road, with the hooligans threatening to beat up the trainees, refusing the explanation and demand to confiscate the trainees identity cards. Sore losers, indeed. Perhaps that's the way in Malaysia. The winners celebrated justice while the losers cry foul-play. It happens most of the time, regardless of parties.

My Life:
I had my license to kill drive. Caused a few scratches on both my parents' cars trying to squeeze out of the mosque area on a Friday noon. Now that's what I called leaving my mark.

This was the 1st year National Service was introduced in Malaysia. It was more akin to summer camp. I was unfortunately fortunately selected into the program (supposedly randomly picked, but I'd suspected that it was foulplay selection by the principal.) Met quite a number of friends there, and enjoyed the time spent in the Agrocamp in Setiu, Terengganu.

I am right.

"I am always right."

"I am right because I have money, and you work for money."

"I am right because I look so good-looking in front of the mirror while you look ugly on a puddle of rainwater."


"Or perhaps, I am right because I am smarter with a string of A's while all you have is a G-string."

And that, is what I call "confidence".

Many a times, most of us are confused of being deluded and being confident. But one can't blame them, because regardless of you being confident or deluded, you still know what you want and you strongly believe in it. It's such a thin fine line that differentiates both, thus it is always a retrospective thing.

If you succeed, you're confident. If you failed, you're deluded.
If you succeed, you're determined. If you failed, you're just stubborn.
If you succeed, you have a vision. If you failed, you're just daydreaming.

I think you'll get what I mean. That's just how simple life is. The winner dictates history while the losers sing poems.

So, the question is, what is "confidence" really? Is it a wise men thing or just an accumulation of previous success? The more you practice, you are bound to succeed at least once, thus there goes the confidence-building act. However, most of the time, we wouldn't know what was the "right thing" that made us succeed.

If we knew it, we would follow it devotedly and hope that it'll succeed the next time.

However, more often than not, we wrongly follow the same rituals, or even worse, perpetuate them to others, fortifying your beliefs (although they may not work for others) and building a stronghold of "fans" so that we'll feel good. The very same error boosts our ego, for no one rectifies us, either because we(or you) are too rich, too powerful, too educated, too good-looking (or too bald) or too few true friends.

But that is how sad life can be. There is in fact, nothing that dictates absoluteness in life. But yet, we would prefer to point fingers at others, or pretend that we are the wise ones, for we fear that we would be left in the dark. And such confidence somehow gave authority to those who have confidence, just because the others are too afraid to be on a different boat to be in the "unwise", akin the story in The Emperor's New Clothes. And there are of course, many scenarios leading to such disillusioned ones. Here are a number of encrypted scenarios for us to ponder.

1. A person who goes to temple twice a day and excel in studies will go to pray everyday, and his children will do the same as well.

2. A person who went abroad will have authority of the world's perspective, because he went abroad and had "soaked in salt water". And yet, I would presume my previous quote of "A donkey who went abroad will not return a horse."

3. A layman who had been humble and polite can metamorph into someone snobbish and rude once he is given a tie. And this lead to the saying "Never give a tie to such person."

4. A rich businessman confidently blames the corrupted system which got him rich in the first place. And blamed it for not making him richer. And the poor resents the system not because for the greater good, but because they could not benefit from the corruption.

5. A good-looking person can be deluded and thinks everyone should adore him and confess it. "Oh, I love your looks! You're great!" and anyone who thinks otherwise should be prosecuted, in the maximum security prison at the very least.

6. And lastly, a confident golfer will always play more than the designated 18 holes. That is of course, before he was being chased out of the house with a driver.

So, what really builds confidence? Power? Fame? Money? Looks? Education?

I'm not here to dictate what is your path, and none shall dictate mine either. But of course, this post is not meant to feed you with any tips, but in hope that you readers would ponder and think for yourself, if any of us are really confident, or are we just as deluded as men (or women) can be?

Besides, does confidence necessarily brings happiness?

P.S: If you think my description is confusing, here's something as equally (if not more or less) confusing definition from Wikipedia.

Somehow, there has been lack of updates here. I'll make sure to compensate with pictures. :P

Well, for the sake of presentation (food nutrition topic), Wan did bought some baby food for this "show and tell" session. I'm not sure if it's really for the show and tell or it IS really his staple food. From jams to juices, biscuits, etc..