Temptations & Ambitions

It has been a far long absence of mine from this site, while I had been busy immersing myself with the workload that would never seem to end. In a place where entertainment is scarce, the hospital is the place of entertainment for relatives of patients. 20 people can come to visit for every single patient, staring either at a healthy patient or a sickly ventilated patient. Yes, it happens here. You may think that they are concerned are whatsoever, but think again. Everyone shirks their responsibility when they are requested to take care of the patients, their very own relative. They can cry all they want, pray as holy as the sky can be reached, but most would not even lift a finger to wipe even a drop of sweat. The best is, sometimes, 20 patients can stare blankly at the patients who may have collapsed, doing nothing, and have a staring buffet out of it. This is how it is here.

Or perhaps how illiterate are the people that they would insist to bring their infants and toddlers to the wards where the place of infection is the highest. No one would doubt that the downward drift could have possibly happen due to infantile exposure to infection.

Sometimes, you get funny encounter here. Sometimes a guy can come in demanding to visit his wife, without telling others what is his wife's name. And then, on further enquiry, he actually did forget his wife's name, and that particular patient could be in another ward. Mind you, he was already told of the ward by the security downstairs. All the man wants is to create a ruckus and demand that everyone search for his wife. And this happens quite often that I would almost conclude that wives are really forgettable people in our lives. *sigh*

And then there are almost these rapid tests and rapid treatment that are expected by people in the era of modern technology. A recently taken blood culture and sensitivity had been asked of the results immediately. Or perhaps a patient who had been admitted to the ward for barely 5 minutes for some bone fracture had been asked if the bone has healed. Such high expectations are unachievable yet at the moment, perhaps maybe in 50-100 years time.

Even now, we have what you could call "Bomoh Tulang", a rather famous job here. It is so common that a lot of people contemplate of trying it instead of fixing their fracture the operative manner. They would usually request for "At Own Risk" discharge, inadvertently ending up back in the wards few weeks later with a complicated fracture, either from malunion or fibrous tissue which would make the surgery harder. Or perhaps the latest "teleconferencing" long range bomoh tulang that is able to heal from afar. Just give some particulars of your relative in the wards and he can heal your fracture in no time, or so what they think.

The health awareness here is rather low, such that I;m sure community medicine would have worked better here than in the urban settings. Until then, here I am encountering odd jobs here and there. Until then.....

Somehow, in medical, there is this term used very much. 

Jonah. 


"This guy very jonah lah!" "That lady super jonah wan lah.."


It's not exactly new, but many medical personnel somehow took a quick affinity to the word. Without knowing who is this fella named Jonah.


Of course, I'm sure the Christians would know.


Jonah is one of the prophet mentioned in the Old Testament in the bible. The word Jonah is from Hebrew origin, hence from the Jews (Or more appropriately the Semitic language). One can argue the origin here, but that's besides the point here. The question is, why Jonah? Not any other prophet?

I'm sure anyone who had read the story would have known about him being swallowed up by the whale. The famous act of all time, apart from dividing the seas or even walking on water.


Jonah is a prophet who was supposedly ordered by God to prophesize the impending doom of a wicked city, but he went the other way around to flee from his "duty", in which he boarded a ship away from the designated mission.


While boarding the ship, all sorts of disaster follows through. Everyone on board was trying to save the ship but to no avail. It was all due to that one single "unlucky" person on board who had earned the wrath of God. Jonah himself. Jonah finally realized it and even stepped out to volunteered to be thrown off board. The crew hesitated, and tried all methods, but they finally resort to throw Jonah off the ship into the sea. It was then right after that the storm calmed down and the ship was saved from the disaster.


And it was then that Jonah was swallowed wholely by a whale and the biblical story continued thereafter.


And so, Jonah was the one to be blamed for all the mishap. Admission of numerous patients to any ward is considered a mishap by medical personnel due to the workload. When an individual had been singled out to have cause such incidence by luck almost everytime, he or she would have qualify as "Jonah".


But I'm not into superstition. It's all humor after all.


But just to reiterate one more thing. There is a Malay translation for the word Jonah. Yes, anything in the bible's Old Testament would most likely be in al-Quran. Prophet Jonah is indeed Nabi Yunus.


Not that I have any strong conviction for religion, but I do know that some would prefer not to speak of the names of their prophets as freely as that. I'm just curious if those who mention it are aware of their deeds or are just plain ignorant.


Beats me. But curiosity may not necessarily be a good thing. :P

 Convocation has never been a thing for me. Wearing a dumb-looking hat and a paper scroll which is obviously not your degree certificate because they are afraid that everything may get lost in the confusion. Seriously, how symbolic can this get?


Of course, I am not going to go for a ritualistic conversion of everyone to boycott their convocation. I just find the significance dwindling down to some cultural thing that "I did because everyone else does".


In a way, it signifies the ending of the journey that you partake once upon a time, many years ago. This journey would be rather long instead if you're taking a 5-years course, or maybe longer if you had to resit or repeat any academic year. An ending, once and for all, before you start on another new journey.


And so, which is why, convocation should be held under two conditions. One, it should be held where you started your journey and spend your time mostly there. Two, it should be held BEFORE you crash down the job reality.


For me, I supposedly started my education journey in UKM Bangi campus for a week there. However, it bears no significance because I did not spend my time educated there. In fact, I was in Kampus KL (near KL General hospital) for 2 years and UKMMC campus in Cheras for 3 years. To "complete" my journey in Bangi fish out no remnants of whatsoever nostalgic feeling  deep inside me. It is a place so distant that I can do without. Like parting with a stranger you've just met for five minutes. No hard feelings.


Furthermore, we have another convocation for our very own faculty, usually a day before. This convocation is usually held in or near our hospital, UKMMC, and so, this had more memories for us than the "formal" one in Bangi. Walking down this path was more enduring, and the shivers and chills when we thought back of the fresh nightmarish experience we had back then. Of course, the fond memories never failed to carve a smile as well. The joy and fun that we had seems like it was just yesterday.

But this year, we might be holding it in Titiwangsa, our hostel for KL campus. Well, that is still acceptable, although the memories appears to be far off distant. Well, better than none in Bangi. That's what I think.


And secondly, is the point that I would love to emphasize the most. Convocation should be held before we start our work! Imagine this, the excitement that had been built up for this day. The anticipation to join the work force and to serve the nation. The confidence that we had of our equipped knowledge fresh from the professional exams. The fiery speech from the chancellor, dean and the student rep motivates us to strive ahead for the future, for what lies ahead of us, the unchartered territory, and all the promises to keep in touch no matter what. Oh, if you'd seen those pair of fresh sparkling eyes of the eager young fresh grad doctors, you'd think that their passion level would be at 110%. 


I think that is what convocation is all about, apart from being a fool awaiting the death march down the path of "glory".


And now, we are already into reality. What excitement we had, had dissipated into thin air. The anticipation is gone, and the confidence of our knowledge had been squashed akin mashed potato. No matter how fiery the speech can get, no lies or sweet talk could get through us anymore. All you can see is a pair of dreary tired-looking eyes, some zombie-looking, some dejected, though we still see some glimmer of hope behind the despaired. We could only smiled, and meeting up with old firends is the only consolation, which could be done in Titiwangsa, where the KL city center is just nearby for a stroll or to hang out at a cosy cafe somewhere, instead of being under the hot sun in Bangi, sweating like some smoked bacon. Oh well, maybe there's sate Kajang, but it's just not the same.  


Working life is no fun, otherwise it's called hobby. But we do get paid after all. And life has to go on. On the other hand, I don't feel like wasting my precious holiday for such trivial matter(convocation). I'm seriously contemplating not going to Bangi for the convocation. Anyone with me on this? :P

Little did I know that I'll be a quarter of a century old in an hour's time. Last year, I was in Slim River. This year, I am in Temerloh. Perhaps, the journey from home starts with celebrating your birthdays away from home. It does not bring any significance, apart from the fact that I am another year older, but not necessarily wiser. A retrospective look at my very own history showed that I've came a long way to where I am now, but compared to the journey of time, my experience is no more than a budding stem without a clear steer of goals. I am but just, still at the very beginning of time.

And today, we had a teaching with Mr Yusof, the Head of Dept. His usual teaching rounds. It was a hectic day while I'm still on a crash course to learn the computerized system and protocol. Feels more like a medical student minus the time to read 'em. I seriously had wished to be able to recall what I learnt in Yr 4 med student in Orthopedics. But then, I recalled. I didn't really learnt much. Crap~

Now I know how important it is of the posting. *sigh*

*Addendum:
But I do wonder if I would really want to go back to the med student years. Hmmm..

*Addendum:
Crap.. too much addendum function used in the wards.

*Addendum:
Don't worry, this is just an internal joke. Only people from Hospital Temerloh may know about it.

*Addendum:
Or maybe a few more hospitals, who may also use the shift system as of now. :P

Perhaps now i know why I chose Medicine as a profession. Because it made me aware that I am not the all-knowing. Before this, Mr Google or Mr Wiki was all the answer you need. Perhaps, now it is different. I forgot when was the last time I asked someone so many questions or asked too many people of all sort of questions.The questions seem stupid, but all it takes was to ask, ask, and ask. Sometimes, you may get bullied, but fortunately, I am in the most benign posting. The medical assistant guides you to do the backslab, the nurses help you here and there, fellow colleagues who are more senior who are willing to teach you, and medical officers who are willing to give you a chance. 


Somehow, I felt like I am a medical student again. Perhaps learning from orthopedics is fun. I certainly do hope so. Today is only Day 2 of tagging. Hope the adrenaline rush does last.