Scenario 1:
Registrar: Come, medical students (8 of them), what is this chest X-Ray suggestive of?M.S. 1: The X-Ray is suggestive of lobar pneumonia, with its......... (with its proper lengthy explanation)
Registrar: You're wrong, medical students. This is a case of atypical pneumonia. Look at this kid's chest X-Ray, it's not your typical findings. How on earth could you come to such conclusion? Medical students nowadays are just of poorer standard. *Sigh*
Specialist walks into the scene 5 minutes later, just happened to be looking at the chest X-Ray.
Specialist: Come, medical students (the same 8 students), what is this chest X-Ray suggestive of?
All M.S: Atypical pneumonia, as evidenced by.....
Specialist: What nonsense! This is just your typical lobar pneumonia. Who taught you that?
Medical Students pointing at the Registrar.
Registrar: No, no, no, no. I didn't teach them that. It's all in their mind. In their mind. I wouldn't teach them such thing.
*****
Scenario 2:
M.S 1: Doctor, this child came in with an episodes of fits has a bulging anterior fontanelle. Could there be something wrong?
Registrar: No, this is just normal. It is not of any significance.
M.S 2: Doctor, it seems that this child also has hyperreflexia (increased reflex), as I've just examined him few minutes ago. Could this be meningitis?
Registrar: (Looking irritated) You medical students are just paranoid. The reflex is normal, as I've said. Just because you think he has bulging anterior fontanelle and hyperreflexia, you think he has meningitis? What bullshit this is.
Silence ensues.
Specialist walks into the scene 10 minutes later, for rounds.
Specialist: Registrar, what does this patient has?
Registrar: Prof, this patient came in with an episode of fits, and I've examined him. Everything seems to be unremarkable except for his oral examination where I can see ANGRY LOOKING TONSILS. So, this is a case of fits due to tonsillitis.
Specialist examined the patient's tonsils.
Specialist: There's no red or inflammed tonsils. It's just mildly enlarged which can be normal for kids. But it seems that his anterior fontanelle is bulging.
Specialist proceeded to examine the reflexes.
Specialist: There is hyperreflexia! Quick, proceed with CT scan of the head, and do a blood culture before starting on antibiotics!
Registrar: .........
And the case was confirmed to be meningitis the next day.
*****
Scenario 3Registrar: Medical Student, what is the pain score of this patient?
MS: After receiving epidural, the pain score of this patient is at a scale of 0 over 10.
Specialist: Medical student, do you know that 0 divided by 10 equals to INFINITY? How can the patient have infinity pain? Remember that, there is no such thing as in 0 over 10. It is INFINITY. (And a 10 minute lecture on mathematics and infinity) Therefore, it should be 0 out of the scale of 10.
MS: (Looking innocently) Sorry, Prof, but wouldn't 0 divided by 10 equals to 0? Only if 10 divided by 0 equals to infinity.
Specialist: Come, let's move to another patient, we're running out of time. (And happily divert the subject away)
*****
Disclaimer: This is a piece of humor fiction and has no relation to anyone, alive or dead, and it would only be a coincidence if there happens to be some similarities in certain situation which you may relate to yourself.
Is this real stuff happening here??
Oh, read the disclaimer. :)
Serious. *Innocent, sparkly eyes*
:P
seriously, the first scenario, i know who and when.
Disclaimer konon =P
Hey ya...first scenario is very very VERY familiar...
I RIGHT AWAY think of Doctor Shit, in scenario 1.
And i hope the MS in scenario2 is not me? LOLZ....
Haha.. you see, medical students can always relate to themselves. So it would only be a coincidence, I think. :P
MS,
hope you wouldn't turn to be one of the Doctor Shit in another 3 or 4 years.
I hope the registrar would never be a specialist in our country.
Long live Malaysia Health Standard.
Specialist