Temptations & Ambitions

I guess one should take a break, and reflect once in a while, such as to keep our sanity in check. And anger as well. Most of the time, whenever there is a PPD reflection, I'm sure most of us were tempted to put in a one-liner in the submission, such as "Please refer my blog" for fellow bloggers. Or perhaps for the most of us, it would be "Please check my FB/ Twitter status updates for an honest reflection of what I am going through". An emo update would indicate a depression state, or some it could be a mania state. But if you happened to see me publishing FB games updates on the wall, please ignore it. It wouldn't be me playing 6-7 FB games out of boredom/escapism. It wouldn't be me spending most of my time on FB for things like such. It could probably be a hacker playings games with my account, accumulating in-game wealth all for my sole benefit. I mean, our online activities clearly defines what we reflect anyway. Bloggers may include photos, which would decorate the dry "model essay" that we submit for PPD reflection everytime.


And to include some videos, like, what they have learnt in the posting, like trucut biopsy technique or the tool.



And so to talk about Peds posting, perhaps we should have a recollection of Year 4. The zest and ambitions that failed to materialize:

If there is a shopping that I love to do, it would be for medical books. I have only a few photocopied books, which half I had the original ones as well, particularly the new Pre-Test series. But somehow I got myself the most number of books for Pediatrics, which I did not fully utilize because there's too much to read and also because I slacked off. 

If you'd think that Pediatrics is just a happy place where the cute kids and toys are, you would suck in all the happiness as well, you must be dead wrong.




But oh well, everyone has a different perception, so I'll leave it to you guys to determine yourself.



And so, I was chosen and sent to a rural area which requires 2 hours of sampan upstream, 5 hours of walking with no electricity and clean water supply from SYABAS Hospital Slim River for the 1st 2 weeks for attachment. I must say the hospital was quite decent although I can't say so for the accommodation.




The best thing was, I was sent there on my birthday. For that, I had to celebrate my birthday in Zeuk Slim River with my fellow group mates. They were very kind indeed. I got elected as a leader on that day with my %$# good luck in drawing lots. And it was also my 1st 24 hours on-call.




But oh well, we'll make do with what we had. Chin Kimg and Zi Teng helped celebrated my birthday in Slim River. Of course, my dear had celebrated with me on the weekends prior to going to Slim River. I had a nice golden tie, but I don't do much camwhoring lately. Thanks dear. And yes, I would like to take the opportunity to thank them (CK & ZT) as well.






If you think we had any enthusiasm, it must have been brought from the feel good effect of Surgery posting. Of course, some had very high hopes when we were there.






The problem is, everything there is just too slow-paced. We were just sucked into the trap of softwork (the opposite of hardwork?) And so, every single piece of optimism was sucked out of us before being sent back to UKMMC. 


Fortunately, we picked up the fast-paced lifestyle in UKMMC despite some initial difficulties. Perhaps it was the reverse-Midas touch that I had during our senior's convocation. We were back in time to be there, at least for a while if not the whole event.


The gold medal was a source of inspiration and dream for most of us. An elusive dream. I would really want to molest have a feel of it and gained some of its blessings. Fortunately, there weren't many of us, so I had a bigger portion of the blessings the opportunity to feel and have a closer look. And this may be our only chance since we'll be too jealous to touch our coursemate's gold medal by the time of our convocation. :P


Enough said. That was just a side story to introduce the rare and shiny gold medal along with the recipient, of course:




As for the Peds posting, life goes on as usual, apart from the too many MMC medical students hogging the patients in Peds, while awaiting their professionals exams in UKMMC. I mean, Peds has only 1 ward with max 28 patients. We had 30 UKM medical students at one time in the wards, along with almost 20 more from MMC. Overcrowdedness is an issue. Another issue was some of them had a longest case exam style. They can take 4-5 hours just to clerk a patient. Maybe that's the exam style in China or that particular Uni. -.-"


As I have Assoc Prof Dr Raja Juanita as my supervisor, Peds wasn't that torturing, as she was one of the few doctors who were more benign.


We even have time for the occasional adventures.




Yeah, it means no more jam in the town trying to grab a bite in a place with a rather high crime-rate in Jalan TAR.



And on the last week of Peds posting, we had skills lab, supposedly to hone our skills.
But we used dummies for skills lab. The "fake" feeling is still there, just like how fake boobs would have feel like. It's just not real.


And here is an extra one. To prove a point that it's just hard to take from a dummy, and the unreal feeling.


Overall, I am satisfied with the posting. Partially because I put in more efforts than last year in Peds. Partially because the sense of redemption was there. I read more to cover what I have not in Year 4. I worked harder but may not achieved what others may have gone through, but that's alright. Paying back my karma in Year 4 would be enough, and what matters the most is that I am better than the me yesterday. After all, I just need to compare with myself. :P


P.S: The anticipation of O&G posting would be reserved for another post. (Should there be one)

There's so much issues to talk, to rant, and to dwell on. But my brain are just so saturated with my everyday life, so I'll just give a rundown of 10 items here, in no particular order, compiled over a few days. :P


1. Teoh Beng Hock case: What's gone is gone. My condolences, but life must go on. And why Pornthip should not be trusted? She's a great liar. Mahidol University was never top 5 in Asia as she claimed. It's not about the university she graduated from, but the fact that she blatantly lie discredited herself. Remember when she first came to Malaysia, she concluded that Teoh Beng Hock was strangulated to death by just looking at a photo? As a matter of fact, no one can tell for sure. All she wants is to create some sensation from her arrival, so I don't believe her death threats as well, since there are doubts on her professionalism and integrity.


2. America is not a Christian country, as lots of Christians may think (or want to think) it is. Yes, there are some number of Christian states, but America was not founded for religious purposes. Unlike Malaysia who had Yang di-Pertuan Agong, or Britain who had the seemingly immortal Queen Elizabeth II, they don't have a King, so there wasn't any need of someone to take care of something like that.


3. Not every Chinese speaks Mandarin. A recent dumbhead has written to NST about certain companies/ shops hire Mandarin-speaking employees and label them as racism. Racism is racism only when you strongly think it is. I call this languag-ism (A self-coined term). And any attacks on religion are considered religion-ism.


4. The way to see how a religion see themselves is via their approach to free-thinkers. They may act all hypocrite when meeting other religions, but all hell gets loose when they see a person without a religion. For goodness sake, no religion does not equal no stand/ opinion. If Stephen Hawking believed in God, he would  not have achieved what he had today, neither do Einstein or Socrates. It is because religion feeds acceptance rather than curiosity.But then, I don't blame God. He had never created religion, it was mankind who had created religion to worship God. Oh well, maybe he has a scientific calculator to calculate the cos, sine, tangent, or log multiplier for every single deed you've done. When will humankind do good without the need of someone to tell them or reward/bribe them?


5. 1Malaysia is a good concept by itself, but we do not need little BTN cronies to make a religion out of it. They must have been trying too hard to be the pastors/ustaz of 1Malaysia religion, but I must say: Epic fail! 


6. Namewee who? I'm unfazed by anyone of such. Some people idolize him because they never think, and they had no guts to voice out their dissatisfaction. I made my stand clear wherever I go, of course, with some rationale behind it (at times, but not necessarily). So, what's my verdict? Mr Namewee, NAAAHHHHH!!! *censored action*.. muahaha 

7. Namewee equivalent - Perkasa. Who? I know I lived in Jalan Wangsa Perkasa 4, but that's besides the point. Why are we frustrated by small fry as such? They represent no one but themselves, a small minority, for their own benefit. Perkasa does not equal all Malays.(And neither do Namewee represent all Chinese) Remember that the leader was someone who lost the 2004 election under UMNO ticket when BN was the strongest, and won the 2008 election under PAS ticket and then opted for independent seat. Where is the allegiance and integrity of such person who clearly wants to play the ploy to publicize himself? I'll give him credits for that, because he was a nobody before all these ruckus and hoo haa.


8. Malaysiakini. Their facts are as good as mine. Accurate, balance and fast? I'm sure it's more of fluctuate, sensationalizing + over-exaggerating news, and fart. Come on peeps, whatever you do, read the news with a pinch of salt, or a handful of them if you must. I've seen a lot of people idolizing such sites for their "news" and take in 100% of what they say. Just because you dare to say what you believe in does not mean you are accurate. Or was it Malaysia Today or Insider? I'm no religious representative to halt you from reading them, but a plea to switch on your brain while you take in the news. Articles and opinions are alright, because we know they are opinions anyway.


9. The Malaysian-Indonesian unease is the fault of Indonesia government, not the Indonesians people. The rascals and radicals are just a few, perhaps less than 0.001% of the population. There's bound to be protests by the few who would seem to represent all, just because the majority does not bother to deal with them. But the Indonesian government allowed them to use violence without protecting Malaysian embassy there? That's irresponsible from the government in keeping national peace. And the mass media plays up the issue and giving too much media attention to such insignificant group of people. The majority of them Indonesians are still nice people, it's just a few bad apples anytime anywhere. Who would heed the call of the jobless rascals to abandon their jobs in Malaysia? Who would rather send their maids back because of these issues. These dependence just show that we need each other, so there is no trump card in both sides, just peaceful negotiations and understandings.


10. al-Quran burning by some goddamn pastor. Who says there's no Christian extremists? Extremists exist everywhere, and know no boundaries. It's always the majority rule wherever you go, regardless of country. So the major religion always gets the "priority". US just proved that they are just human beings as well. You may have Muslim extremists as terrorists, you can also have Christian zealots, or even stupid Buddhist monks who know nuts of the world trying to run the country under US influence. Do we blame the religions? Blame the human beings for such ignorance and folly. And of course, people of the same religion as the extremists seldom condemn them, because it does not hurt them. Only when they themselves got involved between the crossfire between two sides of extremists that they get all heated up. And use their emotions(or dick) to think.



I guess that's all for now. No use harping more than 10 issues. I just find it amusing that more people are starting to think with other parts of their bodies apart from their brain (eg. The part the use to sit, or stand, or to pee) The theory that humans use 1-2% of the brain at one time may not hold true anymore. Maybe it's just 1-2% of the 1-2% stated of brain matter. So, starting switching to your thinking cap before the next screwdriver starts turning behind you. :P

I went to TARC to collect my alumni card, the second reissuance due to the fact that I'd lost the first one a month after that. It happened 3-4 years ago, so I tried getting a new one during the last break. It was during the festive holiday, so there wasn't anyone there to begin with. I took quite the leisure strolling around the School of Pre-U Studies (SPUS). I'd always like to have a walk there, partially because of the scenery which also attracted me to do my Form 6 there. The air there was fresher, with a campus feel, and the sound of the birds chirping busily but merrily on the trees. TARC had undergone some beautification as I can see, to attract potential students here. Below are some photos I'd taken. :P








7. Another view of former mosquito park. The beautification of the area may attract new students there, but old timer like me flinched once in a while while walking past the park. The feeling of the "invisible" mosquitoes lurking around still gives me the chill down my spine.

8. The labs. TARC features a building for its labarotaries. This building houses 4 chemistry labs, 2 physics labs and 2 biology labs as I know of. I'm sure there are more, just that I did not explore much as there are other sorts of labs as well. Currently, it is used more by SPUS and also SAS (School of Arts & Science)

9. One of the Physics lab. During my time, the tables were 18 years older than me. It seems the labs were refurbished as well. It may not beat labs like Marie Curie lab in HELP or other private colleges, but it's a decent one with adequate facilities.



10. The Chemistry lab. There is a nice touch to the colors and the tables. I remembered the old tables had some nails on the sides, which had torn some of my khaki. And the white boards had replaced all the old black board with chalks. (Yeah, TARC was everything old previously) And currently, it is a requirement to wear goggles and lab coats in these Chemistry labs. Gosh, no more casual wear while doing some Chemistry experiments! :P


I guess the new students must be lucky. With all the investment TARC has put in for the facilities, it's quite comfortable to be in there. But I'd set my footsteps away, and my footprints are far from here as I had embark on yet another new journey soon. To where, I'd no idea as well. Life is after all, full of surprises.

She was crying, but no one heard her. Perhaps, she had woken up from a nightmare. But then, no one was there to tend to her. No parents to comfort her when she needs them the most. The love that she had all these while was from the sympathy she could get. And yet, all of us knew sympathy does not last forever. 

I watched her, and pulled up the blanket for her. I patted her on the back and it was not long before she fell back into slumber. Watching her reminds me that I am fortunate to have my parents who care for me. And at least, someone to snuggle when I was young, to hug, and to share the joy of growing up. Thank you, mum and dad.

Today, I met a doctor. A great doctor. And also a great person. A doctor his age would have been too tired to teach, or to listen to his subordinates and students alike. And yet there he was, stood tall, yet humble. He was due for a talk in Hospital Slim River for the allied-health, and he stopped by at the Pediatrics ward. His passion for medicine never ceased, and he gave a short rounds to offer help if he could, and a short teaching for us in Hospital slim River. It was just a simple teaching on the management of acute asthma, but we had realised that it wasn't the content that matters. What we saw was a great person with overflowing passion for Medicine that could truly inspire the people around him. If only he had been my supervisor in Pediatrics posting, no doubt I'll be one of those aspiring Pediatricians. 


"Medicine is not in the wards, it is outside of the wards." He urged the medical officers in the wards to go out and "adopt" a peripheral clinic and visit there often to gain experience. He understands the situation of the mushrooming of medical schools, and yet he never grumble but offered solutions to the problems. Such a positive way of thinking that I would have respect him much more than most of the doctors I've seen. If he would have been to UKMMC, I think he would have been one of the top doctors, being one of the most inspiring figure. But then, he already is. He's teaching at a national level, organising courses for personnels, doctors and other medical staff alike, apart from his current job. And yet he could also find time for his passion in bird watching and authoring books in his hobby. One that could balance his life so well that he is a role model, in and out of Medicine. I wish I could met him earlier, but now is never too late. I hope he could be the inspiration I'm in dire need of.


He is Dato' Dr Amar-Singh HSS, Consultant Community Pediatrician & Head of Department of Pediatrics, Hospital Ipoh.

If you'd asked me, urban city favors a sedentary lifestyle, in the physical manner. Your muscles go to waste, and your adipose tissue multiply exponentially, just like cancer cells.

Ask me again, I say a rural town also favors a sedentary lifestyle, for the mind instead. Your brain matter go to waste, and tissue fibrosis replace whatever empty space in your skull has left, along with water, or perhaps free air.


I think I need a life. I mean, out of Slim River. I guess I'm too much of an urban guy, and I can't live in too much peace, until perhaps when I'm a retired 70 years old man waiting for the time to come. Otherwise, I'm just not meant for rural area. I may die a brain death.


Until then, I'll just bear with Pediatrics posting here for 2 weeks. Suffering in the agony of boredom, and brain atrophy. Do remind me if I forgot who you are. Do understand my condition. Until then....